organizing God...

The Good Men Project

2012-01-10T10:33:00.001-05:00

Posted an article here:
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/a-lover-and-a-fighter/

It is a re-write of an early post. Check it out if you get a chance...

I wish it could have been different...

2011-10-20T13:00:00.001-04:00

This father’s son passed away while he was incarcerated. This is his letter to him.

Dear little [name omitted],

I am writing this letter to let you know I have always loved you and will always remember you. I don’t think I will ever forget you. I am sorry your real father wasn’t in your life like I should have been, but I was addicted to the lifestyle and substances. I didn’t want to expose you to my lifestyle. I was really close to seeing you a couple of times, but I backed off and made the decision to let your mom raise you until you were 18. As you know, I was incarcerated when you turned 18 but my lawyer and I decided I would contact you to see if you wanted to know your real father and we could have some type of relationship. I raised you until your were two years old but your mother and I drifted apart. She picked the good lifestyle and I picked the bad lifestyle. I was so far gone that I thought that I could never be able to get back and live a righteous life. As you know, now I am in touch with my higher power more than ever and he has allowed me to get through your death. I am hoping and praying that the Holy Spirit steers your mother to talk and let me know what happened in your life and what happened on the evening you went out. I know you played football and track. I played football too but not track and they couldn’t catch me like they couldn’t catch you on the football field. I know in my heart that your mother raised you the best she could but I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry that I wasn’t there for you. But now that you have been deceased for a year I have to let you go to Jesus and move on with my life. I know that you are up there watching me right now and that you will always be watching me. Ask Jesus to help me stay clean and sober for life and not return to the bad lifestyle. I know you can’t answer but I will be talking to you when I’m praying with my Lord Jesus Christ. You are up there with your real grandmother, your real grandfather, uncle and other relatives. I’m hoping in the future that your mother will let me see some of the football tapes and pictures of you. I have some but I want more. So ask Jesus to let the Holy Spirit steer her and let us sit down and talk and I will be able to see you when I die and come home. I love you little man. You are my only son and I wish it could have been different. I will always remember you as 18 and I was so, so close to us meeting again. I think we would have been able to have a good relationship, but Jesus had something else in store for you and so he brought you home. Your mother will always have a part of my heart and I hope and pray someday that we will be friends. I wish her the best in life. I can’t wait until we meet again. I have to say goodbye now, but not forever. I have my Jesus and my sobriety to hold on to. I will be thinking about you and remembering you always.

Love you little man,
your father

I heard this read with my children around me – my son was on my lap. I can’t imagine the regret. I can’t imagine how often that regret comes rushing back into his soul unexpectedly each day reminding him relentlessly. I appreciate his ownership of this regret due to his choices and actions – his heart longing for reconciliation to whatever degree he could be blessed with – the glimpses in his words of desiring his son’s admiration. Desiring the admiration of another, while at times narcissistic, is also a sign of love. We all desire the admiration of those we love. He seems done running away, although in part it is too late. In a sense that makes it more admirable. Being too late is a perfect excuse to continue running. But, redemption and overcoming are not the fruits of running. They are the fruits of courage and surrender.

learning to shudder...

2011-05-17T15:37:00.003-04:00

***This post is part of a series which started on April 12^th. This series is an exploration of masculinity which I think is valuable to both sexes based off a book about men titled Iron John by Robert Bly with quotes in italics.***

“The Descent” will bring change and there is a particular change I want to discuss here. Innocence is often seen as naivety. Overcoming innocence is therefore considered a part of “growing up.” But, innocence is not always naïve as “experience” does not always bring maturity. Often “hardening” to one degree or another is considered a sign of the development of the masculine soul. This “hardening” is more than increasing one’s capacity to face the brutal harshness of reality. It is seen as distancing from childhood sensitivity, but it is often simply a wall built between you and your heart. It is watching the news without feeling the weight of it.

When I talk with friends that I have not seen or spent any amount of significant time with in years, it often seems as if they are talking to a corpse buried somewhere in my past – a person becoming increasingly unfamiliar to me. They expect me to be somewhat callous, unsympathetic, cynical, ridiculing of others, insensitive, strictly politically conservative, main stream Christian (unless they have read my blog occasionally)… but I am not anymore. I’m not different in every way, I still don’t trust most authority and I take pleasure in shirking it, and I hope (or humbly say I know) that these negative attributes are not all that they expect from me. The Descent, along with parenting and other life developments have broken down this wall between me and my heart. Oh, in the past I slipped through the window in the wall and snuck into the room built for my heart every now and then and it felt good, but the wall was always there. I often slipped through the window when I was speaking, but it never turned into a door that I could walk through freely. Thankfully, my Descent blew a big hole in that wall instead of reinforcing it separating me even more from my heart. For a long time I didn’t have enough courage to face the pain that comes with tearing the wall down so I defended it.

I don’t find pleasure in ridiculing others as I did before, although I am not always innocent of it. I am no longer dismissingly judgmental of the poor or harshly critical of the non-Christian. My statements are increasingly cautious and less matter of fact. Hearing biting opinions dripping with bitterness even when not aimed at me cause me to flinch. A day or two ago a mom was smoking a bit too close to the bus stop. Understandably, I didn’t want her smoking too close to my kid, but I wasn’t immediately full of anger towards her for this obvious self centered act of poor judgment. I know her. I have observed her life and other decisions that she has made. She put out her cigarette, the bus came and she walked past the other mothers on her way home. They were disgusted with her and let her know it with their faces and dagger stares. Somehow their reaction to her felt worse than her unhealthy habit affecting me and my child. Being resolute and intolerant of certain actions does not have to be void of compassion.

This reconnecting with heart, Bly calls “learning to shudder.” The masculine soul is not either tough and strong or soft and weak. If it is one or the other, it is dangerous. The soft and weak as we said before are not “life giving.” Those who are only tough and strong are “numb, undone, unfinished men.” These are the ones capable of pedophilia, genocide, using rape as a weapon of war as in the Congo, the shrugging of shoulders at the news of civilian “collateral damage”, drive by shootings, corruption…They are the CEO’s and investment bankers who made it out of the economic meltdown with millions while everyone else paid the price. On a lesser scale they are the loud mouth parents at little league games and teacher yelling at his second grade class at the top of his lungs. “When [one] learns to shudder, he is developing a part of the masculine emotional body.”

One of my favorite scenes from the movie “The Patriot” is when the sons witness the father, Mel Gibson, brutally killing an enemy in defense of his family. The boys look at him as if they had no idea that their father was capable of such fierceness. It is a look of astonishment, some fear and yet a comfort in his protection. The other day my daughter asked me what I would do if someone broke into our house. I told her I would kill them. She said that didn’t really make her feel better. I toned it down a bit. The masculine soul of the Radiant Man isn’t always safe, but it is good. “Learning to shudder” is when a man can embrace the brutality of a battle as well as allowing the aftereffect of the shaking of his body from adrenaline to remind him of “how frail human beings are.”

Those who have not learned to shudder hate those who do. They marginalize it as weakness, naïve innocence, purely feminine, and they threaten to “put them out of the community of men.” They are incapable of seeing the superior strength it takes to wield a sword while being connected to your thriving heart.

I think I shared this story in a previous post, but it fits again. While living in California, some of our friends took us into Tijuana for the day. They told us that there would be a lot of beggars and children sent out by their parents selling chiclets – basically asking for money. I was determined not to give into it. I wouldn’t be taken advantage of and I can’t be emotionally exploited. At one point a little girl followed me down the side walk refusing to give up and even tugging on me to buy from her. I told her no and didn’t acknowledge her again until she gave up. I hadn’t learned to shudder. I hadn’t developed a love for children. The poor were a nuisance and it was their fault anyway.

The non-shudderers think the shudderers “can’t handle the truth” and that “we need them on that wall.” Remember A Few Good Men? The truth is that we need more radiant men in our families, governments, businesses and communities who have learned to shudder and have developed a more complete masculine soul. Men who can write songs, sing and dance, and yet be resolute, protect and work hard.

did I get shot or shoot myself...

2011-05-10T11:58:00.003-04:00

It really all seemed to happen before I knew it even though it had been coming for a few years. “Did I get shot or shoot myself” is a lyric written by Jon Foreman and it is a question I have asked myself many times. The answer is “yes.” I went down at the hands of life (perhaps God) and by my own hands. Bly explores different “stages” in the life of the masculine soul. These do not come in a preordained order, but they often are found in a particular sequence.

Bly often refers to “flyers.” These are usually young men who are

“grandiose and naïve…shiny faced, expectant, hopeful, dandified, a prince. One day he is in college being fed and housed- often on someone else’s money- protected by brick walls men long dead have built, and the next day he is homeless, walking the streets looking for some way to get a meal or bed.”

This is the Descent. This is where one goes from an upward momentum driven by successes and an expectation that the ascending trajectory will continue because of who he is and his ability to make the right decisions. At times, a blessed life can become a demanded right. In part, my demand for blessing came through faulty theology that simplified the Christian life to a formula driven by morals: know right + do right = be right. God must honor the formula or what good is an attempted “relationship” with Him?

Then, the descent comes. “After the Descent, an old man takes the place of the prince. It is as if life itself somehow discharges [you]” It can feel like an unavoidable force lurking around the edges of your soul moving in and covering more ground with each attempt to resist it. If you haven’t been there you have no idea what I am talking about. Seven years ago I didn’t.

I’ve been a flyer, felt like a prince and expected to conquer life quickly, admirably and continually. But, my climb up the track turned out to be the roller coaster’s beginning hill that is necessary for the big drop. I’ll spare you all the details of my sad story in fear that you will either question the very existence of God in the face of my horrible plight or you will call me a whining baby (We only respond in extremes right?). The Descent causes questioning. As I alluded to before, it can take place at the hands of others, the nature of life itself, the discipline of God, or one's own mistakes. Usually it is a mixture of all of those. I find my self cautious in talking about the Descent in terms of God doing this for my own good. That can be true and Hebrews 12 explores it, but so often we say that in a self serving way as if our own ugliness isn’t the real problem and that God is just doing it for a greater purpose. He has a greater purpose indeed, but don’t let that fact gloss over the parts of you that are not of His original intentions. The Descent is necessary because you have a problem(s).

We avoid it, plan against it, pray against it, deny it…”we refuse to go down and so a hand comes up and pulls us down. People know immediately when you are falling or have fallen: doormen turn their backs, waiters sneer, no one holds the subway car door for you.” I remember one time during a 6 month unemployment approaching a wealthy business man at church asking him to keep me in mind if he saw any opportunity not only for an opening but for a simple side job that needed done here or there. I didn’t expect him to have something to offer right then and there, but I did expect at least a simple “I will and I hope things will work out for you soon.” He didn’t and his look and reaction felt like a kick to the gut when I had no self-respect left to block the blow. In the Descent, expectations are a downward escalator.

The Descent does have a purpose. The only way out of it is through it. We often “transfer weights from one pocket to another in order to keep the boat balanced”, but the weight remains the same. There is not just “something to learn” in the Descent. It is where transformation needs to take place. The youthful naivety of “flying” needs to be replaced by an older soul. “The naïve man who flies directly toward the sun will not be able to see his own shadow. It is far behind him. In the [Descent] it catches up.”

Avoidance of one’s shadow prolongs the Descent or one simply arrives at a state of “numbness.” This is where the masculine soul of many has gone to whither. “Some women feel hurt when a man will not ‘express his feelings’ and they conclude he is holding back…but it is more likely that when a man asks such a question of his chest, he gets no answer at all.”

The Descent will magnify the dark or shallow regions of your soul and demand a response. The Descent demands a “heroic exit through [it]. For young men who have graduated from privileged colleges, or have been lifted upward by the expensive entitlement culture, their soul life often begins with this basement work in the kitchen.” Many who love you will try to shelter you from it, convince you that you are ok and it is mostly in your mind, and most will wonder what is wrong with you. Don’t listen to them. Listen to the voice that come along side you as you go through it. Listen to a guide who demands you face it and yourself as well.

I have felt the invisible pull of the Descent and wondered if God was bent on ruining me. He was. I have been naïve and even numb, avoiding my shadow and convincing myself that its’ haunting was just my imagination. I do not believe the Descent is over as if my soul has found the extent of its depth or as if that quest will ever be completed. But, at least three things have taken place; my masculine soul has become less numb and naïve. I have found more inner peace, joy and soulfulness through this deepening that is not a result of outside circumstantial comfort and I am able to “go down” more willingly and face the task of exiting through the Descent instead of the destructive work of trying to avoid it. When I see a younger man on the brink of it, I am afraid for him.

lines in the sand...

2011-05-03T15:20:00.002-04:00

** Taking a short break this week from my series on masculinity to participate in this: http://rachelheldevans.com/rally-to-restore-unity"

I often describe my heritage as contentious. It wasn’t the only ingredient in the soup but it was the broth everything else stewed in. Sure, I am a jaded product cranked out from the assembly line of Modernity Church Inc., but it is what it is, eh? I’m past it, but the residual odor of it fills my nostrils frequently and sometimes it is coming form my own pits.

In Iron John by Robert Bly, when describing a particular type of “man” he writes, “Unless he has an enemy he isn’t sure that he is alive.” (page1) Too often we are defined by our enemies or what we are against. To be fair, that is unavoidable to some degree, but so often in the past when someone would ask about my heritage, my response was often about how and why we are different from other “churches”. Our tag line was “defending the faith.” Unity exists in my heritage, but it is often only possible in conformity of thought and doctrine. Yet, even that unity was fragile. The unity ship could quickly find itself at the bottom of the sea, a sunken victim of the smallest torpedo of diversity (and by diversity I mean diversity undetectable to the naked eye) leaving a few in life boats and all the others out of luck.

I investigated a little of what Jesus had to say on the topic and found some over the top ideals. Imagine that. His prayer in John 17 is full of “are you serious?” type statements with one of the best ones being a remark about his disciples not being of the world even as He is not of the world (verse 14 and 16) He puts them on the same level of non-worldliness as himself! Really? He moves on to pray not only for the disciples, but for those “who will believe through their message” (20). He prays for “oneness” which sounds a bit more intense than how I typically hear the word “unity” and more than that, he asks for the same type of “oneness” he has with the Father. Impossible! That cute little idealist. This “oneness” is not the type of default unity we sometimes claim. You know the type. “Well we already have unity whether we like it or not. We are all unified in Christ by default even if we don't recognize it or even want to be.” I don’t think that is the unity Jesus prayed for. That sounds less like unity and more like an arranged marriage.

Why does he ask for this? Two simple reasons; one to let the world know that the Father is the one who sent Jesus and two, to let us know that God loves us AS MUCH as he loves Jesus (23). But, let’s face reality. Don’t we even argue about what those two things even mean and how they play out or who “us” even is? Yes. Yes we do.

He says something else that is even more elusive than the idea of oneness. “I have given them the glory that you gave me.” (22) From what I can gather this word "glory" means a good opinion or estimate of, most exalted state, magnificent, splendor… Wow! He shared His glory with us? Are we fitting of that? And if Jesus claims to have “given” it to us, should we be mindful of whether or not we are making him seem naïve? Maybe before we speak, act or write we should hold up a minute and remember the esteem that Jesus holds us in and ask ourselves "Is what I am saying or doing something Jesus would give me a smile, nod and thumbs up for?"

I have no answer on “how to restore unity”. Isn’t that typical of us mystery loving, post-modern wishy-washers? However!!! Even though I am not smart enough to figure out how to "restore" it (did we ever have it?), Jack Johnson told me one sure way to destroy it. A lyric he wrote says “You draw so many lines in the sand, lost the fingernails on your hand." Brilliant! Maybe a place to start would be to cut down on the amount of lines we draw. But, I can hear the response, “we must stand up for truth!” Indeed. The Pharisees thought the same thing until one day they found themselves on the wrong side of a line drawn in the dirt with Jesus and a promiscuous woman standing on the other side. That’s right. I have figured out that mysterious mystery of mysteriousness about what Jesus wrote in the dirt; a line. And I think it is the only one he ever drew.

the poison of passivity...

2011-04-28T15:09:00.002-04:00

It is interesting to me that the Hebrew word for man is “adam” and the word for ground is “adamah.” In the creation story this connection is easy to make as man was described as being created from the dust of the ground. But, I do not think is stops there. Many of us (whoever us is) are moving away from an escapist – “this world is not my home I’m just a passing through” theology to one that embraces the story of God creating everything and saying it was good. Instead of throwing all of that away He will restore it – He will return all of creation to His original intentions. (see Surprised by Hope – N.T. Wright) Wrestling with that theology isn’t the point of this post, but it acknowledges what I believe is an undeniable truth. There is a masculine soul connection with creation. It is not a worship of creation, but an acknowledgment of being a part of it and that it was and is “good,” although, we have participated in creating as well and unfortunately a lot of what we have manufactured is not “good.” I cannot convince anyone of this connection, but I am sure that a majority of us know it well and celebrate it in various ways and in varying degrees. We worship the God who designed it and celebrate our soul union with it.

In the first post of this series, I used this quote Iron John; the radiant man (wild man) “is not opposed to civilization, but he isn’t completely contained by it.” We have not only overlaid so much of this creation with concrete, but have done so with our souls through our modern systems. “Men and women alike once called on men to pierce the dangerous places, carry handfuls of courage to the waterfalls…now the wild boars have turned to pigs in the stockyard, and the rushing waterfall to the Museum of Modern Art courtyard.” So many of us long for the wildness, adventure and the danger once required to live, protect and survive. We now find ourselves in soul killing cubicles often daydreaming about a fuller life.

With this, Bly dives into the danger of passivity against the formidable foe of our culture systems which seem insurmountable.

“During the last thirty years men have been asked to go with the flow, taught how to follow rather than lead…how to adopt consensus decision-making. Some women want a passive man if they want a man at all; the church wants a tame man-they are called priests; the university wants a domesticated man-they are called tenure-track people; the corporation wants a team-worker and so on.”

This isn’t to say that we can escape it all. To do so would be to give up our responsibilities and to be reckless with the lives of those we are responsible for. So, it is this fine balance perhaps of “not being opposed to civilization and not completed contained by it either.” Yet, passivity as a response renders one a hopeless slave to how things are and the radiant, wild soul dies. At this point, again, we will become “life preserving” at best, but never “life giving.”

This passivity, when adopted, can work its’ way into different parts of our psyche. When we fail to get free from whatever system, person or opinion is attempting to define or control us we can turn to sulking. “When a man sulks, he becomes passive to his own hurts.” As discussed in the last post, ignoring hurts or denying their impact has typically been seen as “manly.” Bly suggests, and I agree, that facing our wounds, talking about them and allowing expression of emotion as opposed to suppressing them and becoming passive to our hurts is part of cultivating the masculine soul.

As well, this passiveness can carry into intimacy. “The passive man may not say what he wants and girlfriend or wife has to guess it.” Through passiveness we ask our wives to “do the loving for us.” We sit there unengaged, uninspiring, not actively loving. Maggy Scarf writes in Intimate Partners “the woman wants more intimacy and the man flees from that; she runs after but not quite fast enough to catch him, and he flees but not quite fast enough to get away.” It is an unfulfilling cycle that is all too familiar. We wish our relationship was better only to eventually wander off to “fulfill our longing” in someone or something else, but when we remove the cover, emptiness is our fate again. We never realize that we are the common denominator in the equation.

Passiveness can show up in parenting - again, as non-engaging. Engaging includes a feeling and depth in the relationship with the child, but also, as Bly suggests “in doing all sorts of boring tasks. Taking children to school, buying them jackets, attending band concerts…checking on who a child’s friends are, listening to the child’s talk in an active way…” As parents we obviously need to rely on each other often demanding responsibilities be divided up. Schedules can dictate one parent or the other being absent from certain tasks, but some men allow their passivity to take this to unhealthy levels. For some father’s if something were to happen to their wife, they would have a lot of catching up to do on day to day tasks and details. Some father’s can’t even make a child’s lunch, do their laundry, or take over their care for a day with any measure of patience or capability while their wife gets away for a day or simply an evening. We can blame our corporate culture for this, but that again is passivity and a lack of ownership and vision.

The last realm of passivity that Bly touches on is “passivity of vision.” Whether it is within a relationship, personal direction, soul cultivation, work balance…men may know what they want today or tomorrow, but a vision for 3 or 5 years out is often nothing but void space. We become paralyzed by our sulking, wounds, or inability to love or be truly intimate. We stay in the unhealthiness of the job, drag our guts behind us ignoring that they are there, or simply “wishing” our relationship was better yet with no vision for where one is going.

These things are easier said than done as my failures attest. It does take “bucket work.” That is why passivity is poison to the masculine soul.

draggin our guts behind us...

2011-04-19T19:26:00.002-04:00

As we attempt to engage in “soul work” we must start with “wounds.” Bly lists a series of “soul wounds” that are common among men: “Not receiving any blessing from your father nor adoration from an older man. Not seeing your father when you are small, never being with him, having a remote father, an absent father, or a workaholic father. Never being welcomed into the male world by older men. Having no soul union with other men can be the most damaging wound of all” Sometimes the wounds from a mother “are a baptism of shame. Beatings, slaps in the face (Bly calls the face the edge of the soul), verbal batterings, blows that lacerate self esteem, puncture our sense of grandeur, pollute enthusiasm, poison and desolate confidence…they damage and do harm. The police chief of Detroit remarked that the young men he arrests not only don’t have any responsible older man in the house, they have never met one.

There are few options in responding/dealing with our “soul wounds.” We can take the “grandiose road.” This seems to be rising above the wound which sounds positive but is more avoiding/ignoring it than dealing with it. This can lead to overachieving as a means of escape resulting in a shallow soul. The stereotypical “Wall-Street man, junk bond dealer, high roller, private jet owner…” These men are accomplished, but often selfish, empty pleasure seekers, and void of depth. This grandiose road can also produce a powerful defensiveness that reacts with escalated anger when an attack is sensed. Another road is the “depressed road. The victim accepts the crown of victimhood.” The depressed road can lead to one becoming “an addict and never being in charge of [one’s] own life, shaming [one’s self] further.” “Some take a third road of paralysis, robot behavior, and seriously pursued numbness.” The grandiose path which leads to wound avoidance and a mindset that one has “arrived” or the depressed path which leads to a ”victimized helpless child mindset” can both end the pursuit of the radiant man (wild man).

The Radiant Man represents “our own brilliance, bounty, wildness, greatness and spontaneity.” Yet it is not within us as if we already contain it as it should be, but is more so it’s own being of whom we seek to be a student. I have often had times where I lived out of these characteristics within me, but only for moments. The need for mentors and present fathers is undeniable in our culture, but those can be often hard to come by. So many older men fail to be that for younger men because they either don’t know how, don’t care, or they have given up on this pursuit of the Radiant Man themselves. Many men are in denial as Bly defines as “being in a trance –an oblivion.”

However, “if we climb on the shoulders of this [Radiant Man]” Bly writes that three things will happen: “the wound will be seen as a gift instead of bad luck.” We will discover “soul water” and this will lead to a rediscovering of radiance and spiritual luminosity inherent in the masculine soul – the gold in us from the womb.

Typically we regard wounds that hurt “as shameful. He who is truly a man keeps walking dragging his guts behind him.” This is where many men learn to not talk about their wounds, acknowledge their wounds, or even to think that it matters. Yet it takes more courage to face a wound then it does to carry it around and deny it is affecting you or anyone else. Bly cites the story of Iron John as having a completely different approach to wounds. “It says that where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be. Wherever the wound appears in our psyche, whether from an alcoholic father, shaming mother…is precisely the place for which we will give our major gift to the community.” This is not found in denying the wound or continuing to drag it around unhealthily. We can not simply excuse or deny our unhealthiness as “that’s just the way that I am” which is a cop out for wanting to stay in a trance of oblivion. Yet the wound will not simply “go away” and it is a part of you. Allowing it to be a source of genius requires taking it to soul water.

Bly describes this process as “being a fish in holy water… being a fish is to be active; not with cars or footballs, but with soul.” This isn’t implying that sport and hobby are bad in any way, but that they are not the soil in which one “takes hold of the wound instead of being the wound.” Often sport and hobby can become a distraction. “This soul water does not heal our wounds, but it gives strength to the part of us that wants to continue the effort to gain courage” and live deeply. These are the moments where we investigate what is deep within us – where we face these wounds in an attempt to allow them to become scars full of great stories as opposed to festering pools of bitterness or numbness.

In the story of Iron John, everything that touches this “soul water” turns to gold. If you are somewhat aware of where your wound is or where your genius lies, have you ever felt moments of gold? “The fingers holding the pen or brush turn gold. The athlete’s toes turn gold. The physics student with his teacher [works] an equation on the board with golden chalk or the teachers tongue turns gold while tutoring the student.” I have felt these moments “of gold” and longed to live out of the deeper more vibrant places within me consistently – to be that radiant man more often – alive and life giving. The journey starts with seeing our wounds and “dipping them soul water”. But, this isn’t done in a day and there lies many more phases full of learning along the way.

a lover and a fighter...

2011-04-12T11:47:00.001-04:00

***Often masculinity and femininity are defined against each other. This results in little to no overlap and forcing masculinity and femininity to be opposites instead of being freely defined. Hence, certain characteristics when seen in men are negatively degraded as being “like a girl” thus simultaneously degrading the characteristic and women altogether as less valuable in one assertion. These posts are an exploration of masculinity which I think are valuable to both sexes based off a book about men titled Iron John by Robert Bly with quotes in italics. I recommend this book and posts to men and women alike.***

Simplistically, masculinity has often been defined as “liking football, being aggressive, never crying always providing.” This male “doesn’t see women’s souls well, but appreciates their bodies.” It is also often void of a “receptive space or intimate space.” This is where we begin to divide men into two categories. Either they are a man’s man as described above of or they are a “soft man.” The soft male is more aware of what we may call his feminine side and is often “thoughtful, gentle and nurturing.” We often split men into lovers or fighters with both sides void of the characteristics of the other.

This narrow definition of masculinity along with its’ maligning of certain characteristics as either macho or soft has resulted in many men being “life-preserving but not exactly life-giving.” And so we search for the “deep masculine” that “does not reside in [either] the feminine realm or the macho/John Wayne realm.” Again, it is deeper than those two narrowly defined categories and in this richer understanding of masculinity we will find a man who is both”life-preserving and life-giving.”

Bly warns however that a weekend of meditation or drugs won’t get you there. Getting to this deeper place of masculinity requires what he calls “bucket work.” This is disciplined, bit by bit, over long periods of time labor. Many men aren’t willing nor do they see the need to do this.

Iron John is an ancient story probably thousands of years old first recorded in 1820 by the Grimm Brothers. Bly uses this story and a central character Iron John or the Wild Man to explore the deeper masculine. In order to avoid certain reactionary connotations to the term “Wild Man”, seeing as I don’t have the room a book provides for expounding on it, I will use the term “Radiant Man”. This isn’t perfect, but it displays a masculine energy that glows from within a man. It isn’t tame energy and it isn’t macho energy. The radiant man “is not opposed to civilization, but he isn’t completely contained by it.” That thought of not being contained resonates deeply in my masculine soul. Corporate America works against this Radiant Man and often popular Christianity seeks to tame it although I don’t believe Jesus does at all. With that, a “woman also can be judgmental about certain masculine traits that are merely different or unexpected.” The Radiant Man “is aware of how abundant, various and many-sided manhood is.”

In a way, the Radiant Man is a lover and a fighter. Bly quotes an old Celtic motto: “Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.” The Radiant Man is full of soul, and not only the outer warrior, but the interior one as well. And so we begin a series of hopefully weekly posts doing “soul work” that so many men deeply need as do their wives and children.

The audacity of Resurrection

2011-01-12T09:27:00.002-05:00

We talk a lot about the cross, our sins and the atoning sacrifice of Jesus. Most of our clichés and songs follow these themes. When someone talks about “sin” it is usually confined to personal purity of the mind, heart and body. In other words, our personal disobedience or lack of Christian piousness that separates us from God and for which Jesus had to die a redeeming death. Our songs and theology are about personal sins as opposed to more global humankind sins - the workings of our autonomy from the very beginning.

The sin of an individual can lead to more family-wide, business-wide, community-wide, and even global wide consequences affecting the innocent and the guilty alike. This is seen in the alcoholic father who destroys his family or the greedy CEO who embezzles money to take care of himself while the humans who do most of the work at the company become unemployed and they and their children begin to experience the repercussions of that greed in their declining quality of life and strained relationships. This is seen in power struggles like in the Congo where sexual crimes against women are used to elicit fear and helplessness within villages to advance the control of one group of human beings over another. With that, our cultures expose the collective sins of our priorities. This weekend there will be a few players in the NFL playoffs who will receive a paycheck of over a million dollars for their 3-4 hours of work. (Oops, I forgot their daily practices. Let’s graciously chalk it up to a 50 hour work week.) Yet, while they receive a million dollars to play a game to the delight of myself (I will be watching) and millions of other fans, there are children who will at the same time die of starvation. Sure, we can consider the complexities of capitalism, poverty, and corrupt governments, but imagine yourself trying to explain it away to God instead of your less educated friend. Suddenly the silliness of our theories and answers is exposed by the sheer reality of the dehumanizing inequity. Sin is not just about you and your eternal destination; it is about God’s intentions for humankind.

While this may start with the individual, it doesn’t end there and this faith is bigger than any one of us just like the reverberations of our personal sins. The audacious claim of Christianity is not a better life for one through increased individual morality or even individual forgiveness. It is resurrection and it is new creation. Undoubtedly, there is a lot of goodness and beauty in this world providing glimpses of the enduring original intent of God for human existence, but, as mentioned above, the pain and suffering is enduring and unending as well. So, many of us do not want to die, but we are ready for the disease, abuse, abandonment and oppression of this world to end. In the face of such overwhelming foes, we digress and feel like dying ourselves. In this tension of longing for life yet experiencing so much that kills it, resurrection is a complete hope. Yet, and this is important, it does not revert us into escapist theology that causes us to stick our heads in the sand, hunker down in our churches until it is all over nor move us to self-righteous, self-saving hope that breeds arrogance or disdain for the “un-enlightened”.

No matter what we think about our origins, religion, what is sin and what is not, there is a reality that none of us can deny - we all die. The Christian faith offers not only a story of our creation, sin and its ramification, but it also claims an audacious promise. This promise is not that your sins can be forgiven. It isn’t in the atoning death of Jesus in his becoming our substitute in the penalty phase of the “wages-of-sin-is-death“arrangement. The promise is resurrection. In fact, Paul says that if Christ has not been raised as the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep, then “your faith is futile and you are still in your sins.” In essence, if Jesus wasn’t resurrected then His death does nothing for any of us.

But, we don’t talk about resurrection much. In fact a reading and acceptance of 1 Corinthians 15 can get somewhat uncomfortable in the presence of those who do not believe it especially when we get to the part where Paul begins to offer an explanation of what our bodies might be like. Do we really believe not only that Jesus was the son of God and not only that he died in an atoning sacrifice for the atrocities of humans, but that he was raised from the dead and is a sign of the future awaiting us - that indeed the body he was raised with is a new type of body made for a new type of creation and that we are headed for that destiny? It sounds like science fiction. Maybe that is why we don’t talk about it a lot accept in phrases like “died and was raised 3 days later” or in common phrases that we don’t even think about like “going to heaven”.

Resurrection is at the heart of the Christian faith, but how can we claim something so audacious? In Surprised by Hope N.T. Wright says it best

“But how can the church announce that God is God, that Jesus is Lord, that the powers of evil, corruption, and death itself have been defeated, and that God’s new world has begun? Doesn’t this seem laughable? Well it would be if it wasn’t happening. But if a church…is actively involved in seeking justice in the world, both globally and locally, and if it is cheerfully celebrating God’s good creation and its rescue from corruption in art and music, and if, in addition, its own internal life gives every sign that new creation is indeed happening, generating a new type of community –then suddenly the announcement makes a lot of sense. “

escalalting frustration...

2010-05-27T14:36:00.000-04:00

Recently a friend left this comment on my last post…

“I understand and empathize with the compelling need to reorient ourselves and the church as a whole to Christ's teaching and lifestyle, instead of solely focusing on the aspect of his crucifixion and resurrection. Is there a peaceable process that you believe can bring together the emergents and those who are on the opposite end of the spectrum? Both sides seem frustrated enough to start a fight, and division is contradictory to what both "sides" believe. How do you think there can be peace concerning this, because it is the fundamental orientation of the church's outlook? Is there a point, do you believe, in which a follower of Christ must cease to call themselves a "christian" in order to follow Christ?”

The divide between "emergents" and “those on the opposite end of the spectrum” along with the divide between numerous other groups with various labels and sizes doesn’t seem to be shrinking, but as was alluded to is escalating in frustration to the point of boiling anger. As I have admitted before, I often have an antagonistic tone in many of my posts here. Frustration abounds. Too often as I follow the trail of unending links to posts, comments and various writings on the web, I find myself feeling overwhelmed and disheartened in the face of the tide of opinions and arguments that never seem to ebb. Within the extremes, this will never cease to exist. There will always be groups whose theology and framing story perpetuate, consent and even demand that they draw the line of exclusion deep and dark between themselves and any one outside of their long list of conclusions.

On one hand, I am ok with individuals/families finding groups/congregations that “fit” them better as I have said here and here. On the other hand there are some consequences of this trend as discussed on another blog found here.The premise of that post is that as individuals gravitate toward groups that are a better theological/organizational match the “divide” grows deeper between the differing camps. “Studies of group psychology show that when people with similar views talk to one another, they end up at even more extreme positions. The very ability to choose - neighborhoods, cable TV stations, websites, churches - increases the risk that we will hear only those with whom we already agree.”

First we must realize that one side will never silence the other. While a certain book, author, line of reasoning… may all but settle matters in one person’s opinion, there will never be a definitive end to the discussion. Rhetoric escalates and often becomes distorted and exaggerated as one fails to “silence” the other side and yet continues to try. With that, there is nothing wrong with us having opinions, differing in viewpoints, and even articulating why we think what we think and why we disagree with what we disagree with. Yet, if we are seeking to silence others or arrive at the end of the discussion, the only result will be polarization.

In addition, it may be helpful to look for overlap instead of victories. If one side will never silence the other then we are left with at least two choices. One, build higher walls and continue to lob word grenades into each others camps or give each other some space and grace and look for overlap in mission. Again, there are some groups who call themselves “defenders of the faith” which I translate into “preservers of the opinion” who will not be able to do this, but don’t get mad at me. I didn’t draw the line. I’m just pointing it out. For others, we may be able to disagree on some points without marginalizing each other and possibly open our common borders back up.

In regards to the last question, “Is there a point, do you believe, in which a follower of Christ must cease to call themselves a ‘christian’ in order to follow Christ?” At first I think, it is just a matter of terms. The word “christian” can have a lot of negative connotations and stereotypes attached to it. Unfortunately, so many of them are deserved. Some have begun to use the term “Christ follower” because of this. However, there is no shortage of people who want some followers of Christ to denounce their claim to Christianity all together because they don’t pass their test of necessary beliefs. I guess not calling oneself a “christian” in order follow Christ could be like one not calling oneself a “Republican” in order to follow conservativism. It would be a result of one believing that the party had moved away from the values (that is not political commentary, just simply a hypothetical analogy). To me that strikes at the heart of the debate between “emergents” and “traditionalists.” This brings us back to the issue of division. It is undoubtedly an emotionally charged environment because at the heart of it is one group questioning and often rejecting at least some of the values and priorities of the other. Navigating those treacherous waters is daunting.

So, that is undoubtedly an unsatisfactory answer, but may at least qualify for a start. Hopefully, this will lead to some further dialogue and maybe even better answers…

Compassion proclaims...

2010-04-30T12:10:00.005-04:00

I constantly run across blogs pointing fingers at emergents decrying their attempt to do works of compassion without verbally proclaiming Jesus. Here is a comment by a minister on one such post to illustrate my point. “I’m troubled by the tendency in our churches to send groups of young people to build houses somewhere and call it a ‘mission trip.’ At one time, missions referred to evangelistic efforts. When everything is considered to be missions, nothing will be missions. We can become so missional that we lose our mission.”

To this I ask what is indeed our mission? When Paul said, in 1 Cor. 2:22, “For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified” by knowing did he mean that accepting the fact was all there was too it. Is our mission simply to convince people to mentally ascend to accepting said conclusion about Jesus? Maybe that is what it has become and maybe that is why we face so many selfish battles in our churches today. As we convince people to believe in who Jesus was and what Jesus did my question is to what end? Is the goal to get them to go to church and hang out with other “believers” in order to reinforce their conclusions about Jesus, sing songs about their conclusions and put their money together so they can have a place to teach their children about said conclusions and if they have enough money, they can employ educated people to teach classes for all ages, lead great songs and grow the number of believers who affirm said conclusion? Is the goal to bask in our conclusions and from time to time convince others to do the same?

You may say no, but the current state of so many of our churches says otherwise. Leaderships are so frustrated with self absorbed members that they are pushing back telling them “church” is not a place to be fed as much as it is a place to come work. Yet, more often than not we are asking people to “go to work” by becoming members of our self perpetuating organizations that engage people in “worship services”, Bible classes and the like hoping that doing so will in the long run benefit their life and that maybe they can get others to join in along the way. Again I ask what is indeed the mission?

So many of us marinate in this Christian sub-culture only occasionally peeking our heads out the door or more often just sending a mass e-mail to rail against smut on television, ungodly politicians, or homeowner’s associations that won’t allow someone to fly an American flag. Listen, those H.O.A.’s annoy me too, but I am convinced that we are known more for what we are against than for the Good News we claim to have. With that, the way that we so often frame this Good News has left a decent amount of “outsiders” saying “If that is the Good News, I don’t want to hear the bad.”

But, week after week, I run across a blog accusing the emergents of making Jesus into a hippie that just loves everyone or of thinking that building a house is enough. The radical love of Jesus is undeniable, but no He wasn’t always happy or found sheepishly asking why we can’t all just get along. But, don’t we realize that the times he was the most confrontational, the most in your face were when he was dealing with the religious of His day. Yet we act like if Jesus were here he would march right over to Hollywood and give those wretched wretches a piece of His mind. When maybe, just maybe, he would walk right into our churches and shove His fingers right in our chests and say “get behind me. You have taken this way of redemption and made it a burden on people’s backs, you have made this Way of living that I gave you so complicated it is seemingly impossible to untangle.”

Maybe He would tell us that this Good News is dynamic with many layers and that we are poor story tellers. Maybe he would say that we talk endlessly, but we have little action. Maybe he would say that he meant it in Matthew 25 about the food, cup of water, and the clothes thing and that it wasn’t just some spiritual anecdote that really meant He just wanted us to preach more sermons. Maybe he would say redemption, grace, mercy and love have many forms and they all point back to the nature of God whether we connect the dots or not. Maybe he would say that we can’t separate compassion from proclamation because compassion proclaims.

I don’t know any emergent that just wants to feed people and never ever talk about Jesus and his way. But I know plenty of people including myself that have talked hundreds of times more than we have fed. The mission isn’t just to rally around the event of Jesus’s death and resurrection and convince others to do the same. The mission is to be that death and resurrection. There is no end to the ways in which we can indeed be that to the world.

this struggle is why I write...

2010-04-02T23:13:00.003-04:00

Two posts ago I wrote this: They struggle to believe in our religion yet they long for our God. As I have said before, this struggle is why I write. This isn’t really a devotional blog, or a cute story ending with a Bible verse kind of blog either. This is about the struggle I have been engaged in for many years and the one I know so many others are entering or are already deep into. There are so many of us moving quickly away from current forms of Christianity that are self centered, finger pointing self righteous, or bogged down in contention. They are the biased forms of this way of Jesus that focus only on personal moral rightness mostly for hell avoidance or personal success instead of seeing the production of the fruits of the Spirit within you as crops to be given away. They are the biased forms that so easily see the ignorance and evil in everyone else and yet fail to see the deadness in their own non-fruit bearing limbs. They are the biased forms of this way of Jesus that get bogged down in asinine theological arguments about things like unwritten rules for worship and the like, all the while failing to show themselves relevant to anyone not already drinking the kool-aid.

So, I write for those who don’t go to “church” anymore or who do and really wonder why. I write for those for whom Christian clichés just don't work anymore. I write for those who take things seriously and desire deeper things yet are willing to admit how stupid they can sound when trying to articulate God. I write for those who grew up in some closed minded churches leaving them spending the last ten years untangling from their messes rather than building on the foundation they laid. I write for those who find value in the Bible, yet remain skeptical of our interpretations especially when they are presented as something more than that. I write for those who don’t need to be reminded that there are people who “take advantage of the system” every time they talk or write about helping the poor.

As I think about it, maybe I just write for myself…

I do have the ability to see each week the locations from where people access the site. So, many of you I know are friends, but some of you stop by week after week and I am not sure why you are here. Part of why I do write this blog is for discussion. So if you have the time, comment or e-mail. Let me know what you are looking for, what you might want to see discussed, or what you may be wrestling with. I’m not looking for compliments or some narcissistic high, but more so to see why readers come by and what you might be interested in getting into from here. Let me know…

pointing fingers at our self-righteousness…

2010-03-27T00:58:00.001-04:00

I ran across a Christian blog taking apart a young but wildly popular celebrity in a recent post. This celebrity was an easy target based on some of her recently immature actions, her poorly articulated theology in a recent interview, and the fact that anyone her age would undoubtedly be in over their head attempting to navigate the tumultuous waters of stardom. Expectedly, numerous other Christians piled on in the comment section praising the negative assessment with some even taking the opportunity to brag that they hadn’t let their children become fans of this celebrity while so many other parents naively held her up as a “good one”.

It is undeniable that there is virtually no celebrity whom I would want to point to as a role model. They all have faults, imagine that, and some more than others. It is also undeniable that kids and adults are going to look at them and be shaped to some degree by their style, attitude, and actions. So, yes, we need to talk about these things with our kids and help them find their way through positive and negative influences, Even so, something about this article and those who jumped on its’ bandwagon frustrated me.

Years ago I remember hearing Dennis Miller during a stand up gig on tv make remarks about how he thought “God had bigger concerns than his [Dennis’] personal use of curse words.” I disagreed with the sentiment remembering verses on “unwholesome, obscene and foolish talk”, yet maybe Dennis Miller was partly right. Again, it does matter if we choose to curse rather than bless, tear down rather than build up. I’m not giving a green light to drop the f bomb. But, is that what Christianity has become primarily? Not cussing and dressing modestly? I mean does Luke 4:18 read "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to shut the mouth of the cursers. He has sent me to clothe the immodestly dressed and to turn off the pop-rock station and turn on K-Love…” No. No it doesn’t. Yet again, I feel the need to clarify. Should we cuss? No. Should we dress modestly? Yes. Should we carefully consider what media we are putting into our minds? Undoubtedly.

The problem I have is that so many of us Christians get so angry and offended when it comes to a cussword, a short skirt or even a difference in theology and we will go to great lengths to defend our spiritual and moral purity and the principles they are built on. But, we seem to care so little about the self-sacrificing responsibilities that we have to our fellow man. I’ve grown tired of the overwhelming amount of self righteous, finger pointing rants against “the sin of the world” in our Christian circles when the need to point our fingers at ourselves continues, at least to me, to increase.

Let me tell you a short story about myself to illustrate. While working as a minister in North San Diego County, I took a trip with friends to Tijuana, Mexico. I knew that in the city we would encounter beggars. Some with fake wounds others in wheel chairs when they didn’t need them and many of them children who would undoubtedly and very insistently pull on your heart in order to get some cash from you. I went resolved not to give in and I didn’t. Most gave up easily as I ignored them and went about my shopping, but one little girl I vividly remember followed me a long way down a block pulling on my shirt trying to get me to buy some chiclets. I barely looked at her and she got no money from me. Sure, I was just another guy on another day whose $2 wouldn’t have changed much. The thing that bothers me was my heart. The next day I was back in the saddle talking to my teens about morality and purity “waging war against the evils of this world.”

My framing story didn’t really mention to me the challenging verses about not forsaking justice and mercy (Matthew 23:23) or the ones about not denying someone who asks from you because I am to act like a son of God (Matthew 5:42-45). It spent more time on verses that pointed the finger out there and blamed the ungodly for the mess we were in. My framing story turned the words Jesus read in Luke 4:18 about “preaching good news to the poor, proclaiming freedom for the prisoners, recovering sight for the blind and releasing the oppressed” into purely spiritual proclamations that spoke directly to my struggle to stay holy in this evil world until He returns to take me to heaven. I guess in this post, I am lamenting the fact that we so often sound so self-righteous when the incompleteness of our righteousness would be staring us in the face if we were only humble enough to kneel down to embrace it.

Part of me wonders if when I get to heaven, that little girl will be sitting in Jesus’ lap waiting for me. I would expect him to still let me in with grace, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he made me buy some chiclets from her first.

in it for ourselves...

2010-03-19T23:46:00.001-04:00

Last week I was attempting to articulate that while this message of Jesus is indeed personal it is not so primarily and thus secondarily global. With that I proposed that instead of starting people out on a “personal” track that at some point we hope matures into a more missional faith, we should perhaps be starting them out on a track that is immediately personal with a missional mindset. This idea of rejecting an initially and solely personal approach is by no means a “yeah, yeah I know all that Jesus and the cross stuff, let’s get on with feeding the poor” attitude toward the work of Jesus, the redemption he provides and the hope it leaves us. It is more so an acknowledgement of the fact that “God so loved the world…”

Maybe I am beating around the bush so let me get right to the point. This thought that I have been wrestling with and possibly failing to articulate clearly, stems from the conviction that so many of us Christians are seemingly in it for ourselves. That’s right and maybe it shouldn’t be so.

Jesus’ very existence among us was selfless in itself and this selflessness brought world-wide redemption and ushered in religious, political, economic and artistic global shifts. Yet, in some ways now, he is a Jesus for me. We sing him songs, talk about him with fondness in groups, and ask him to do some stuff for us in prayers. Our “quiet times” are for us. Our spirituality is for us. Our Sunday mornings are for us. Sometimes even our service projects are for us. I often ask myself to what end are these Christian things aimed at. The answer is me getting to heaven. Our framing story has been about a “personal salvation” moving into “personal spirituality” through various Christian tips and disciplines leading to “personal success” in this life and ultimately with a reward in the life to come. What if this message/way of Jesus was not about a bunch of individuals from Earth making it to Heaven, but was more so about Heaven coming to Earth?

While so many of us in our various groups on Sunday morning bask in the warmth of “church” and soak up the Son, I often think about those who don’t connect with us anymore. Particularly our children. I know so many 18-30 year olds who are leaving, left or fake it well enough to keep mom and dad satisfied. What about them? Does the fact that our own children struggle to find relevance in us at least grab our attention? Do we take any of the blame or do we pass that on to the world or Satan essentially washing our hands of the fact that they struggle to believe in our religion yet they long for our God. Unfortunately, so often they don’t know where to look anymore.

I guess that is what perpetuates my antagonistic tone in so many posts. I long in some way to awaken us and whispering sweet nothings is giving way to increasingly loud crashes as my level of alarm increases the more I think of the sentence I just wrote. They struggle to believe in our religion yet they long for our God.

So often “religion” is about us. It is about my spiritual practices, my beliefs, my traditions, and my salvation. While selfishness still rears its’ ugly head and too often looks like a self portrait, my self-centered religion has been dying over the last 5 years. I will celebrate the day it takes its’ last breath. I long not to make God relevant to the growing number of the jaded but instead to clean the glass from the smudges of self-centered religion in hopes that the jaded can actually get a good look at Him.

Poorly framed beauty…

2010-03-11T12:56:00.007-05:00

We start people out at the wrong trajectory and then we wonder why we face a wave off selfish issues in our churches. Brian McLaren describes our “spirituality crisis as the failure to provide a framing story capable of healing or reducing global crises.” (Everything Must Change) In other words, does the way that we frame the message/way of Jesus, God, the Bible, church, spirituality… adequately and relevantly speak to the corruption, injustices, greed, inequality, war, environment, economic….issues of our day? With that, does our “framing story” in any way hand us responsibility in solving, healing, addressing… global/community issues? The story that framed my theology for years did not.

The framing story simplistically went something like this: I have sinned. I am separated from God. Only through faith in Jesus (and a host of other things) can I be reconciled to God. After said reconciliation, I strive to live faithfully, keeping myself from being corrupted by the world. The world is on a path headed for destruction. I, if I can keep myself from being polluted, am on a path headed for redemption. Along the way, I should not only live righteously, but share this path with others so that they can do the same.

This framing story is one of personal salvation, person spirituality, and personal success (phrase from McLaren’s A New kind of Christianity) It set me on a “personal” trajectory that deemed the crises of the world unsolvable and thus mostly irrelevant especially given its’ unavoidable demise. In this framing story, I had little to say about global crises beyond the sentiment that if “individuals” would come to know God then the actions of individuals could be changed and thus impact the amount of evil being perpetrated in its’ various capacities. The idea was to work toward bringing individuals one by one to a personal salvation, a person spirituality, and a personal success resulting in a growing number of individuals who together make up the church. The problem is this “personal” approach has a hard time maturing into a “community/globally” inclusive faith.

What I am saying is that as we approach people with this framing story of personal salvation, person spirituality, personal success we are indeed setting them on a selfish course. This calling is indeed “personal”. It is personally asking you to live outside yourself. Maybe instead of starting “personally” we should include God’s desire to not only “heal” us as individuals but as nations, cities, and communities.

When Jesus prayed “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10) did he mean it? Was he just being optimistic or did he really desire Gods’ will to increasingly become reality? Does this happen by individuals becoming “good” and as the number of “good Individuals” increases global/community “goodness” will do the same by default?

My simple point in this post is that instead of starting with this personal salvation, person spirituality, personal success framing story, what if we started with one that went more like this:

You are not called to buy a plot of land in the gated community of Forgiveness and Redemption. You are not called to pool your home owner’s association fees together with your neighbors in an effort to keep your property values up while the world outside your gates deteriorates as expected. You are not called to have your weekend parties and send the left over scraps outside the gates with that guy who says he has some “calling” to take them out “there”. Instead of gates that protect you, you are called to build roads that give access. Instead of advertising to others how great it would be if they “moved in”, your borders should expand to include them where they are. Instead of landscaping your own yard so others can model it, you landscape theirs only to return home to find your land sculpted by the master craftsman. Instead of enticing others with the amenities of our community that could be theirs if they confess the secret password and commit to following the homeowner’s association handbook, we ask them to let our Builder look at their house because He loves to remodel. When they say they can’t afford it we tell them it’s free, but the only catch is he asks you to become a remodel-er yourself in return. When they say they don’t have the time to do that, you say “I didn’t either. I started small with what I had to offer and then I couldn’t stop.”

So what if the framing story was less of a personal self-help guide, but more so good news about a global initiative from an idealist that actually had the heart and ability to see it through?

and break...

2009-10-28T13:37:00.002-04:00

I’m taking a break for a couple of months. I have a few things coming up that I need to concentrate on in addition to the holidays, so I plan to get this blog off my back until the first of the year. I can’t thank you enough for reading my posts and commenting from time to time. I hope it has been something positive for you to read each week. Please continue to “follow” the blog so I can send you a note when I pick it back up. I have put together quotes below from each of my posts, so while I am on break new visitors can catch up on older writings. I’m still around so send me an e-mail or catch me on facebook if you have something you want to discuss in the meantime. Thanks again for coming by each week. Until then...

a thousand things it is not… October
Can we admit our failings? Can we admit that we are guilty of making this way of Jesus about thousands of things that it is not about? Can we admit that our blogs and our comments and our opinions have failed us? Can we admit that our children have seen in us a bogged down contentious religion? Let me say that again: a bogged down contentious religion.

a reasonable level of health… October
I will be one of the first to agree that we have made this way of Jesus ridiculously more complicated than it truly is. But, at this point because of our over complication, we find the need to work back through the complicated mess. What I mean is that we can't just declare this way of Jesus to be simple while we ignore the tangled mess we have people wrapped up in. We must address the “knots” and work to undo them. I see a lot of people who have maybe grown tired of the knots or have untangled from them personally, but for one reason or another they keep sitting in their pew almost blatantly ignoring the knots all around them.

open doors and walls… September
Maybe if we were less concerned about our institutions and more concerned about truly being like Jesus, than we would see the need for each other. The institutions don’t need to die tomorrow and those within it should be respected for who they are and what they do in so many ways. Yet, those who find themselves stepping away are not “apostate” nor simply “narcissistic coffee house babblers.” Instead maybe they are explorers in a way. Maybe true experimentation needs to happen outside the walls of the organization. Maybe if our doors were open to each other, the institutionally loyal minded and the emergent could then work together seeing a need for each other, at least in this moment in time.

becoming un-churched… September
Many are shifting to conclusions that the church body is not defined by individual congregations and that given the paradigm and its’ inclination to miss the point, one’s commitment to it (the congregation) is not equivalent to one’s commitment to Jesus. The shift in theology that continues to force this divide looks something like this: It sees making a sandwich for the poor as a posture of worship equal to that of singing songs of praise or adoration to God in a gathering of other followers. It sees spending time with friends over dinner as viable as mingling with them in a church building. It sees teaching your kids through bringing them along to give clothes to the needy as valuable in spiritual formation and learning as sending them to a classroom for an hour.

hand lickers and new beats… September
What this means, and I have mentioned this in a previous post, is finding a new rhythm. We can’t just tweak what we are doing here or there and expect any kind of substantial results. If we want people to truly act and live missionally, then we have to re-set our schedules and efforts around the real priorities of Jesus. It is like any other kind of rhythm – once you get going it is hard to stop. We (our churches) have so many people in a rhythm of work, home, small group, personal reading/prayer, church service, nap, football, work….that when an opportunity to be missional arises we kind of lose ourselves in the music and go bouncing on by as we keep the beat we have been dancing to for years. What I am saying is that we have to end this dance and start a new one.

first and foremost… September
Overtime and maybe sooner than later, congregations, leaderships and individual Christians are going to decide “consciously or simply by default.” Is “church first and foremost an experience of communal bonding… or first and foremost an institution?”

the role of humans with vaginas… August
This blog post is just a start in the discussion of our failed theology in regards to women. You cannot tell me that our gatherings would not be richer if we could hear from the hearts and minds of our wives and daughters as opposed to the same men over and over with the same prayers and the same rehashed thoughts. You cannot tell me that women are good for children’s ministries, fellowship meals and filling out the parts during singing, but when it comes to sharing what they have seen, heard, learned or experienced in this way of Jesus, we have no room for them.

the quad-rinity… August
But, just because I believe the Bible that we have now is a much more human book than my heritage would like me to believe, that doesn’t mean that it is of no value –quite the opposite. Some would argue that if we accept the Bible has errors then we are left to only place value in what we pick and choose. As Ehrman purports and I concur, we do that anyway. We zero in on some points and completely act like others don’t exist no matter how much we claim to believe in the unquestionable authority of the Bible.

mostly Irrelevant… August
Did you catch the quote in the description where he asks “What good were all my complex theories when people were dying of starvation on the sidewalks and porches across from my lecture hall?” It is this mindset that inspires me and what led me to ask in last weeks post, “What could 200 people with roughly a couple hundred thousand dollars a year really do?” My answer: “Well that depends on their theology.” Similar to Yunus’ questioning of his professors and University courses, I often wonder, why do our theologies, our organizations, our classes, our sermons, and our church activities seem to be accomplishing so little?

money and theology… August
Yet so many congregations find themselves in grid lock because those with the money won’t let the theology shift. Maybe that should tell us something (or even smack us in the face) about the way things are set up. Maybe money has had way too much of a voice in our paradigm and instead of being a commodity that we use to do good, it has become a leader that calls way too many shots.

only the losers win… July
Unfortunately, the honored in our congregations often resemble more closely the valued of the kingdoms of men then they do the valued in the kingdom of God. Who was the last person your church clapped for or had stand up so every could see they were there? At the risk of coming across as having false humility, two nights ago sitting in that room beside Rhonda, I found myself ready on that day when everything is renewed to gladly take last place and watch, with tears of joy and pride, as she takes first.

question and humility… July
It is a questioning of our very purpose. I want to hear our current conclusions debated. I want to hear a sense of doubt in our voices about where we are. I want to hear that we are the problem and not just everyone else. I want to hear that we are searching. I want to hear silence in place of words that explain it all away. It is only in that humility of questioning ourselves that we can truly be brought to conviction and repentance. Before the changing of the paradigm comes conviction and repentance. Before conviction and repentance comes question and humility.

considering arrogance and pride… July
This shift won’t happen without conviction and repentance. Unless we have been hungry, unloved, exploited, chained or unless we are willing to form relationships with those who have, we will lack the sufficient conviction to truly turn away from our current paradigm and search for a new one. The Pharisees in John 9 thought they could see clearly. They weren’t willing to rethink anything but instead worked to force everything else to make sense within their current world-view. It turned out that a blind beggar with no education nor redeeming quality was the one with better vision (ahh, what a great church/business word, vision – I can see God mocking us now)

welcome withdrawals… July
That is a strong statement indeed, but one that I believe to be entirely accurate. Here is another strong statement: We need to remove these worship services from the center of our paradigm. Everything we do centers around these times and everything else usually takes a back seat. We are so focused on our own personal piousness and securing our own personal salvation (usually motivated by “an unpredictable grace” theology) it is no wonder we have isolated ourselves in Bible classes and worship services feeding off the sound of our own voices week after week.

the ties that bind… July
Some fear that we are all just becoming less religious and blame society for their lack of interest in church stuff. I wonder if that is a bad thing if “losing my religion” means moving away from unwavering acceptance of our institutions and towards a more authentic pursuit of this way of Jesus.

somewhere in the middle… June
At the heart of things, this is not an exercise of theological musing and banter. To me this all matters. These ideas are not just about tweaking our church paradigm here or there. I don’t think everything is generally ok because, after all, nothing will ever be perfect. I think that so many absolutists have not only gotten some things wrong, but that they have been downright destructive in the conclusions that they refuse to honestly reflect on. I can’t just ignore it or just play along and accept it.

narrowing the margins… June
In so many ways our churches are shallower because we have overlooked people or unnecessarily tried to make them look like us. I often look at those of us who do “fit the part” or who do posses the “valued” skills in our churches and wonder what would happen if that changed. What if we for some reason stopped fitting the part or our skill began to fall short? Would we loose value? I also wonder what would happen if the paradigm shifted. What if we weren’t “worship service” centered? Would who we value become more inclusive? What if we didn’t have everyone clap for the Christian college president visiting our church, but we worked harder at including the easily overlooked?

my good is better than your good… June
I hear a lot of Christians wanting to make sure that we all understand that “goodness” in itself is not enough. They want us to be sure that you can be good, but if you don’t have Jesus its’ not enough. I understand matters of faith and belief, but as I have said before, I think we have grossly compartmentalized things calling these things “spiritual” and these other things “worldly”. It is as if we say “Sure, there is “goodness” outside of church, but it lacks value because it is not placed in the right context.” In essence, my goodness is better than your goodness. Why? Because I am doing it aware of God and you are not.

the way to the way… June
Sometimes I feel we are actually working to get people committed to our “church stuff” instead of “the way of Jesus.” Undoubtedly, our “church stuff” is a reflection of the way of Jesus, but it is often much more complicated. We have countless books on church dynamics, models, programs and ministries to prove as much. I think the way of Jesus is much more simple and, as I have been saying, organic. Yet it is as if the church has stepped in the middle and said “Jesus is the Way and our institution (and all that comes with it) is the way to the Way.

looking in the wrong place… May
We so often work hard to bring people in and help them find their spiritual shape within our congregation so they can determine what ministry they could play a part in. I think we should show them the door and say, “Find your shape in the world. See if you can find God out there. Then, come back and tell us about it. Come back and take others with you to that spot where you met God and to that spot where He changed you.”

the manufacturing of Jesus… May
Now we find ourselves sitting in pews on Sundays eating a tiny pinch of a cracker and sipping from a little plastic cup of juice hoping we can conjure up some memory of Christ in our heads in order to avoid “eating and drinking judgment” on ourselves because we have “done” it wrong. We have taken this simple gesture of a man asking His friends to remember Him even in the everyday common things of their lives and made it another tradition to do right.

the non-religion… May
Yet, there is an increasing number of people, especially in their 20’s-30’s (although by no means exclusively) that are finding themselves becoming more and more disconnected with what we know as church. Some of them still fill the pews, but find themselves leaving church angry or frustrated even if they can’t articulate why. Others have stopped “going” altogether. Most of what I am writing is for them. My hope is that they can find ways to articulate their frustrations and more importantly so that they can see that their disconnectedness with church doesn’t equate to disconnectedness with the way of Jesus.

The gravity of what we have created… April
Is there a way for Christians to gather together, to encourage one another in this way of Jesus, to be spiritually and relationally formed and yet not be entirely isolated or wrapped up in our own organizations? Can we find a paradigm that affords us the good things of Christian community and the benefits of the pooling of our resources and yet fosters our engagement in the world and not our isolation from it? Can our list of “intramural religious debates” be traded in for at least a more relevant list?

finding proportion… April
Personal Piety vs. Producing Formation – “Personal piety” is a righteousness that benefits you. It is rooted in a “think right + do right = be right” mindset. This mindset allows you to sing the song “Jesus is coming soon, morning or night or noon, many will meet their doom,” to an upbeat melody. On the other hand “Producing formation” is about one being spiritually formed and engaging in activities that spiritually form them not only for their own life enhancement or hell avoidance, but instead to be a force of Christ-like goodness in the lives of others.

the force of Recovery… April
Brain McLaren says it well in this quote from The Secret Message of Jesus :
“What if Jesus’ message was not just about avoiding hell and going to heaven, but it was one with political, social, religious, artistic, economic, intellectual, and spiritual implications that could give birth to a new world – a new Kingdom - the Kingdom of Heaven now?" Do you see what he is saying? What if this gospel doesn’t jump over life from the cross to you and from you to heaven like a person hopping on stones to avoid the mess of the creek? What if this gospel, working through various forms, is seeking to channel into every inch of our very existence and break up our hardened, un-plowed ground not just as individuals, but as groups, communities, and countries? What if the gospel is secretly at work in ways we have not plotted, planned or approved by committee?

reviving desire… April
A few months ago I was asked, “What do you think is the biggest problem that teens in your group face today?” After talking through it a while, I realized that their biggest hurdle was the result of what may be our biggest failure. I was able to sum it up like this: We have worked harder at teaching them restraint than we have at fostering aspiration. Maybe this isn’t just limited to youth groups. Maybe on a whole, Christianity has been watered down to abstaining from sin to the detriment of the second half of this verse. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2Timothy 2:22 Christianity isn’t about killing desire. It is about advancing passion and desire towards greater things.

the weight of the uninspired… March
I often wander what Jesus would say to those limiters of freedom who leave no room for individual faith expressing itself through love outside of their predetermined acceptable practices. Probably the same thing he said to the Pharisees who were concerned by the actions of the sinful woman who through her creativity gave even more meaning to the tradition of washing feet and expressed her faith through love by doing it with her tears and hair.

how stupid we sound… March
These moments of beauty that open my mind to the smallness of what we claim to know in one hand, cause me to turn to the other hand full of possibility. The possibility that we have no idea. The possibility that we will all be proven wrong. The possibility that we will look at each other with faces of amazement and confusion because we did not see this coming. I am convinced that God will do with this world and the souls within it something that has yet to be articulated with our little words.

God will die if you don’t sing … March
While singing and such can be called worship, it is just one small part of the bigger picture. The problem is that our so called worship services are the main product of most of our American business model churches. Having a worship service (and doing it the right and biblical way for some groups) seems to be the primary focus of modern Christianity. We use them to market, attract and grow our businesses. I propose that this wasn’t the focus of Jesus’ teachings nor of that of the rest of the New Testament. (or really, for that matter, what God was after in the Old…read Isaiah 58)

skipped post

2009-10-22T11:17:00.001-04:00

I need to skip my post this week due to a very sick wife and baby. Please check back next Thursday for a new post. until then...

a thousand things it is not...

2009-10-15T09:17:00.003-04:00

I ran across this quote in this post in regards to my heritage found here.
“I believe the whole idea of trying to restore the New Testament church of century one is wrong-headed (though probably right-hearted) …” and “Instead of trying to be like an institution of imperfect people - sinful people, made perfect by the blood of Christ - shouldn't we have been trying to just be like Christ?”

Can we admit our failings? Can we admit that we are guilty of making this way of Jesus about thousands of things that it is not about? Can we admit that our blogs and our comments and our opinions have failed us? Can we admit that our children have seen in us a bogged down contentious religion? Let me say that again: a bogged down contentious religion.

I've been reminded this week of our incessant missing of the point by running across arguments about Christians and Halloween (really people?), the continued "right way" to do a "worship service" nonsense of my heritage, coming across more people of my generation who are moving on from what seems will never change, and I have been lamenting the fact that there are so many rich resources in the people that fill the pews of our churches that are under utilized and held back by failing theology.

That's all I have. Excuse my trying to pass off my venting as a post this week. Thanks for stopping by and read the article I linked to if you get a chance.

a reasonable level of health…

2009-10-08T11:42:00.002-04:00

Every denomination and institution has its’ problems. Everyone single one. The problems range from organizational to theological to most often a combination of the two. There is no way around it and anyone who attends or is committed to one is going to have to understand and accept that. While this is true, I often here this fact used as an argument against those who are contemplating “leaving” for something else or those like me who can tend to complain, critique and question a lot.

First of all, we have to understand that our congregations are just that – congregations. Those I meet with and I are not the only Christians in the world. We are one group of whatever size meeting together and pooling our resources together for some list of goals. Each congregation has its own personality, unique resources and abilities to do what they do. The church downtown will have a different “personality” than the one in the burbs. The bigger congregation will have more resources than the smaller one. One group will be able to pull off something that another group doesn’t have the talent to do. As much as 1 Corinthians 12 is about how we as individuals with our unique capabilities fit together to make up the “body of Christ” it seems it also could apply to how we as groups or congregations fit together. It is ok that one group can do something that another group can’t. It is ok if we play different roles based on our unique personalities. In that sense we can be less competitive and more mutually appreciative.

So, while every group has its problems we are also unique in certain ways. So, if a person is looking for a perfect place they won’t find it (no duh), but they may find a group that “fits” with them more closely in “personality” and even theology. I have heard these people who have “moved” from one group to another be labeled as “consumerists” among other things. While there may be some who are not sure of what they are looking for and tend to shop most of the time, I really haven’t met them. Everyone I know who has “left” one group for another has done so with long periods of agonizing. Our label of “consumerist” seems to me to be an attempt to marginalize someone in an effort to avoid really admitting our own short comings.

While there is no perfect group, we must admit that there are different levels of health. Yes, 1 Corinthians as applied to individuals explains to us that one part of the body can not declare itself more important than the other and no part of the body should see itself as unimportant. If applied to different congregations with unique personalities and abilities, I would conclude that no congregation should declare itself more important than another and no group of people should see themselves as unimportant. No doubt. But, if we step back and allow ourselves to think critically without crossing the line into marginalizing, we must admit that it is possible for a group to struggle with maintaining a “reasonable level of health.”

For instance, we all know of or have heard of some church that was once 200-300 and in just a few years eroded down to 20-30. Usually, this involves some “issue” or a plethora of “issues” over time that leaves people walking away with little hope of cleaning up the mess. Sure the “eye” can’t say to the “foot” you are not needed or less valuable, but the fact is that if the “foot” keeps walking around without some sort of shoe for protection it could become very unhealthy quickly.

While the things that make a congregation unhealthy include personality conflicts, poor leadership, divisive members and the like, so often much of it revolves around some sort of theological debate. It may not be about a specific verse or interpretation, but more so just about what someone or some group of someone’s think church is about. So many places are becoming increasingly unhealthy as they hold onto certain theological conclusions that continue to keep them from being effective and productive. The problem with many of these places is that they find ways to blame everyone else but themselves - the young people these days, other groups that just “entertain”, the godlessness of the nation and so on. Some have wrapped their fingers around a theology of “doing church” a certain way while at the same time members slip through their fingers like sand leaving them with an empty fist to shake at the world in anger as if it were everyone else’s fault.

While there are a number of reasonably “healthy” churches in my heritage, there are many that are not. Some have shrunk from 400-500 down to 300. Others have shrunk form 200 to 40. Some are wrestling with how to “grow” again and others are facing the reality that their resources have become so depleted they may not have what it will take to reverse the momentum and re-build.

I will be one of the first to agree that we have made this way of Jesus ridiculously more complicated than it truly is. But, at this point because of our over complication, we find the need to work back through the complicated mess. What I mean is that we can't just declare this way of Jesus to be simple while we ignore the tangled mess we have people wrapped up in. We must address the “knots” and work to undo them. I see a lot of people who have maybe grown tired of the knots or have untangled from them personally, but for one reason or another they keep sitting in their pew almost blatantly ignoring the knots all around them. I personally wonder how much longer my heritage can effectively hold onto the silly conclusions around music, instruments in worship and our exclusion of women from being heard in our gatherings and yet still claim to be relevant.

I understand that God can work through us despite our misunderstandings and human shortcomings. I started with acknowledging that no group is perfect. Yet, while every group has some value, it is completely possible for a group to become unhealthy and unproductive. I think until we face our theological failings and actually do something about it, we will see more and more groups tripped up by their theological knots and rendered ineffectual.

open doors and walls...

2009-09-30T22:29:00.002-04:00

Many are shifting to conclusions that the church body is not defined by individual congregations and that given the paradigm and its’ inclination to miss the point, one’s commitment to it (the congregation) is not equivalent to one’s commitment to Jesus. The shift in theology that continues to force this divide looks something like this: It sees making a sandwich for the poor as a posture of worship equal to that of singing songs of praise or adoration to God in a gathering of other followers. It sees spending time with friends over dinner as viable as mingling with them in a church building. It sees teaching your kids through bringing them along to give clothes to the needy as valuable in spiritual formation and learning as sending them to a classroom for an hour. (from last week’s post)

This isn’t an “either/or.” I don’t have to do one or the other. I can do both/and. I can make a sandwich for the poor, sing songs in an auditorium, hang out with friends over dinner and in a church building, take my kid to class and to give clothes to the needy. As I have said countless times, my interest here is not to simply discount our institution nor marginalize the people that make them up or run them. I (at this point in my life) am a paid minister at a church. Yet while I admit this “both/and”, I also am increasingly asking “but why?”

Last fall while teaching an adult class, I said something to the effect of “In many ways, our institutions and all that go with them have become monkeys on people’s backs.” This was in reference to the vast amount of resources (man hours and money) that it takes to keep some of our institutions going. I have talked about this in previous posts. An adult in the class took somewhat of a cordial exception to that comment and said something to the effect of “It is not a monkey on our backs. It is the work of God. It isn’t easy. We have been called to take up a cross/burden.” At that point there was a need to clarify. Living this way of Jesus includes sacrifice, selflessness and undoubtedly doing some things you don’t really feel like doing. But, what I was talking about was not the hard work of the way of Jesus, but rather the work of running our institutions as they are currently organized. I have articulated some of this before in my post “the way to The Way …” in June. I basically propose that Jesus claims to be “the Way” and the church organization steps in the middle and claims to be “the way to the Way” selling its’ programs, events, facilities and management all for a weekly “fee” or “contribution”. The problem with this is that I think our organizations have added a lot of extra to this way of Jesus. Thus, they, not the way of Jesus, can become “monkeys on our backs.”

Last week I also wrote this: “Especially in our heritage, dedication to the institution and its’ meetings/programs is completely synonymous with dedication to Jesus. Being a part of the "church" (the body of Jesus) and being a part of the "congregation" (our institutions) is the exact same thing.” In my opinion, it is not. When I criticize our institutions and how we have organized them, I am not “battering the Bride of Christ.” To me it is more like taking some shots at a first cousin once removed. There is a relation but not close enough to take it too personally. This is not to say that what is being done by or within our institutions is not good or even great in some instances and as I have said, I am not calling for the end of organized religion. I hope that just as I accept the answers someone would give me on why they attend a congregation, that same person could come to understand why someone might not attend or at least really struggle with attending a congregation. I have attempted to poke enough holes in our organizational set up that someone who is more institutionally loyal minded could at least not blame someone for searching.

What I mean is this: In a conversation on another blog, the author was reviewing a book that hits back at the inconsistencies of the emergent view. With in the post and following comments, he (and I have heard this view a lot more recently from other authors) was lamenting but not discrediting the number of books critiquing the church. He acknowledged that some (not all) of the critiques where valid, however he stated that he wished there would be more written on “new horizons in spiritual formation and mission.” Fair enough, but the problem I see with that is this: Where is the experimentation going to take place in order to explore these new horizons? Within the institution? That has the makings of less of an experiment or an exploration and more of a 40 year wilderness trek. I just don’t see that happening efficiently.

Maybe it is necessary for people to leave. As I have said in this post and the last one, leaving a congregation is not equivalent to leaving “the church” in my opinion. It can all be very complicated, emotional and personal, but maybe it doesn’t need to be. Maybe if we were less concerned about our institutions and more concerned about truly being like Jesus, than we would see the need for each other. The institutions don’t need to die tomorrow and those within it should be respected for who they are and what they do in so many ways. Yet, those who find themselves stepping away are not “apostate” nor simply “narcissistic coffee house babblers.” Instead maybe they are explorers in a way. Maybe true experimentation needs to happen outside the walls of the organization. Maybe if our doors were open to each other, the institutionally loyal minded and the emergent could then work together seeing a need for each other, at least in this moment in time.

becoming un-churched…

2009-09-23T12:47:00.001-04:00

Last week, I ended with this: We (our churches) have so many people in a rhythm of work, home, small group, personal reading/prayer, church service, nap, football, work….that when an opportunity to be missional arises we kind of lose ourselves in the music and go bouncing on by as we keep the beat we have been dancing to for years. My point is that we can’t expect our churches to shift from attractional to missional without some MAJOR shifts in our paradigm which requires major shifts in our theology. That is easier said than done as anyone who has spent any time in any church will tell you.

We have these weekly staples of class, worship service, small group, and random programmed ministry activities with little room for much else. We are lucky to hit a “service project” occasionally. As my theology has shifted, I continue to see an increasing need for this rhythm to shift. In July, at the end of my post welcome withdrawals… I wrote this:
So, what am I suggesting? Maybe there is room to explore a more balanced schedule in the chunk of a month. Maybe week 1 consists of a Sunday (anytime) or Saturday night worshipful gathering of praise, sharing, encouragement, and learning. Maybe week 2 is service/community involvement project again on Sunday or Saturday. This could be done in a large group or a smaller groups spread out. Ideally this would involve some long-term commitments instead of a series of random projects. Week 3 would involve a men’s camaraderie event(“fellowship” is worn out and reminds me of paper plates and styrofoam cups and not necessarily “good times” – although I’m not sold on “camaraderie” either) on one night and a women’s on another. Week 4 could be a week for classes and deep, spiritual discussion. I realize this doesn’t speak to youth groups or children’s ministry, but if you read the article quoted earlier, it makes some good points that speak to those. What would you do on a weekend where the service event happened on Saturday and there was nothing planned for Sunday? Rest, spend time with your family, have your own small group gathering….

Personally, I am up to take it even further than this, but in regards to an institution really looking to shift from attractional to missional this would be a big enough initial step. But, do I really expect this step or something similar to happen in an existing congregation? No. Call me pessimistic or real, but I think this anonymous quote sent to me from my friend in regards to the question of if the institutional church can change is right: “It's easier to feed the hungry than try to raise the dead.” The divide is growing between the institutionally loyal minded and the emerging view. There are many who have stayed in congregations for years looking to create shift who are beginning to conclude that the institution may not be necessary.

Another friend of mine sent me this question: Why is it when someone is no longer frequenting a congregation we say that he or she has, "left the church?" He knows the answer, but was simply starting the discussion. My answer was this: It is hard for institutionally loyal minded to begin to wrap their minds around a more organic, less structured existence in the body of Christ. Especially in our heritage, dedication to the institution and its’ meetings/programs is completely synonymous with dedication to Jesus. Being a part of the "church" (the body of Jesus) and being a part of the "congregation" (our institutions) is the exact same thing. This goes along with my opinion of our misunderstanding of the word "worship". When we hear “worship” we are actually thinking “worship service”, when we hear “church” we are actually thinking “congregation.”

As this theology among many gains some speed, tolerance of the institution and its’ continued difficulty to shed the weight that keeps it sluggish and stubborn, grows thinner and thinner. More and more people are essentially giving it a go on their own or with smaller groups of friends. It can be a scary, seemingly un-chartered path away from the institution, but as I think about it, it sounds very much like another group of people whose theological shifts led them away from the “temple” walls and religion as they knew it and back into the their streets and homes.

hand lickers and new beats…

2009-09-16T13:25:00.005-04:00

In a number of posts, I have expressed my opinion that as part of the shift needed in our current institutions, our “worship services” should be moved out of the middle of the paradigm. As I have said before, when I look at the words and actions of Jesus, I don’t see holding “worship services” as a priority. My heritage has loved to use John 4: 23, spirit and truth, as a supporting verse to all of our rules regarding what is acceptable or unacceptable worship to God. Personally, I think this verse has nothing to do with doing worship services correctly. The word spirit in John 4:23 is “pneuma” meaning current of air, breeze, breath, or by analogy or figuratively a spirit, that is, (human) the rational soul. The word truth is “truly” or “verity” which is less about being right and more about being authentic or real. There are many words translated “worship” in the Bible. In this passage, the Greek word “proskuneo” is used which means to kiss, like a dog licking his master’s hand; to fawn or crouch to, that is, (literally or figuratively) prostrate oneself in homage (do reverence to, adore) worship. We take this word figuratively, although among some groups lying prostrate, kneeling, or crouching is a common practice within their “worship services.”

So then, I think what Jesus is saying to the Samaritan woman is this: A time is coming when licking the master’s hand will not be about the place – this mountain or in Jerusalem – and the Jews won’t be the only hand lickers. This hand licking won’t be about some set of rules or rituals, but it will be about the way one lives, their existence, their breath or very life and the authenticity of how they live before God. So God is seeking hand lickers that live it and mean it.

The common argument that worship is about a Sunday morning services and less about the way one lives is to take a menial task, like making a sandwich and say, “Is that worship?” My answer to that is if you thank God that you have food while you make that sandwich or if you make that sandwich and give it to someone who doesn’t have one, I don’t know what could be more worshipful. So, to me, I can make a sandwich, sing a song, say a prayer, paint a poor person’s house, hug a child, be moved by the beauty of nature on a hike or anything else as I live and breath and do it worshipfully. The difference is, do I live aware of God and does my being fully alive give glory to Him, or do I do it for myself with no regard to the creator of my life.

When we hear the word worship, we hear “going to church”, sitting in pews or rows of chairs, singing songs, taking communion, listening to a sermon. These things have value, but I propose that this is not what God is primarily after and yet it is what we primarily do. Undoubtedly, the early Christians gathered together, expressed themselves with songs, chased after knowledge, shared meals and money and burdens. Undoubtedly, gathering with others and participating in these things is a valuable part of us being spiritually formed. But, if “worship services” as we know them are not at the center of the teachings of Jesus, then why are they at the center of our attractional churches?

Many church leaders are wrestling with the struggle of moving from an attractional model (which I call the American Business Model – ABM for short :) to a more missional model. The simple difference between the two is doing things that “attract” them to come to us as opposed to getting outside of our walls and going to them or recruiting people to become a part of us where we are or us becoming parts of our community that add benefits and solutions. The beginning of my answer in fostering this transition is moving worship services out of the center of our paradigm. Again, I don’t think it was at the center of Jesus’.

What this means, and I have mentioned this in a previous post, is finding a new rhythm. We can’t just tweak what we are doing here or there and expect any kind of substantial results. If we want people to truly act and live missionally, then we have to re-set our schedules and efforts around the real priorities of Jesus. It is like any other kind of rhythm – once you get going it is hard to stop. We (our churches) have so many people in a rhythm of work, home, small group, personal reading/prayer, church service, nap, football, work….that when an opportunity to be missional arises we kind of lose ourselves in the music and go bouncing on by as we keep the beat we have been dancing to for years. What I am saying is that we have to end this dance and start a new one. This need for a new rhythm and this understanding that “worship services” do not belong at the center of the paradigm opens us up for a good fresh start. More next week…

first and foremost...

2009-09-09T14:25:00.001-04:00

In this blog, I have not only attempted to wrestle with the paradigm that shapes so many of our congregations, but I have also attempted to wrestle with some of the theology that shapes or at least supports the paradigm. My hope is that you have not viewed this wrestling as just another “intramural religious debate” that leads to nothing substantial. Undoubtedly, we could argue certain theological conclusions for years and even if we came to finally agree, we may not be any closer to living this way of Jesus than when we started. However, if the paradigm is to be shifted, and I believe it needs to be, it will take theological shifts to get us there. This is why I have wrestled with some of our theological conclusions –not to simply argue fruitless points, but more so to free us from fruitless conclusions that divert and leave us missing the point.

In danger of being overly simplistic, let me describe two perspectives. The first is this: I go to church to worship God, to learn, to connect with others. I want to reach others, bring them to church and help them know Jesus and be saved. This world is not my home, it is fallen, and I strive to be light and live as Christ in it, all the while longing for heaven. The second is this: Worship is the thrust of ones’ living. It is a combination of attitude and action. I gather with others and merge my life with theirs for encouragement and growth in this way of Jesus. I strive to not just tell others about Jesus, but I believe that actually bringing peace, kindness, joy and the like to my community/world through solutions that tangibly impact is more important than talk. I live as a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven now and am full of anticipation of they day when God will make everything new.

These two views have similarities, but their differences are more than rephrasing or word order. Their differences are rooted in the theology behind them. Phyllis Tickle says it much more sophistically in an article found here.

“Within the next eighteen to twenty-four months, denominations and established communions and the Christians who constitute them will decide, consciously or simply by default, whether “church” is first and foremost an experience of communal bonding, spiritual and religious expression, growth in concert with the ages, radical obedience, adoration, and transport or whether it is first and foremost an institution—one that does business and has structure and also structures which are to be supported, and one that is a means for organized interface with, and shaping of, the world external to it as the best means of effecting the Gospel’s principles upon and within culture.”

She admits the risk of trying to put a timeframe on it, but the point still remains. Overtime and maybe sooner than later, congregations, leaderships and individual Christians are going to decide “consciously or simply by default.” Is “church first and foremost an experience of communal bonding… or first and foremost an institution?”If you have read this blog for any amount of time, you know I have attempted to poke a lot of holes in the institutional paradigm and have even offered some alternative approaches. I believe it has been first and foremost an institution to the detriment of communal bonding, spiritual and religious expression, growth in concert with the ages, radical obedience, adoration, and transport. Yet, I realize that there are many institutions running their model successfully and, while I may take issue with some of their “product”, I by no means would simply write them off as valueless. I know a number of guys who think in institutional terms that place highly skilled preaching at the center of a highly planned worship service as the crux of a successful and thriving church organization. I don’t fit in that camp anymore, but I am not arrogant enough to completely marginalize them.

But, we can’t just plug away at doing church stuff and minimize this honest struggle to “arguing issues” or just wonder why “it all has to be so complicated” and “why it can’t just be about Jesus.” It can’t be that simple because you bring a whole host of theological conclusions to what it means to love Jesus and so do I. As individuals we have to decide what we think church is first and foremost. This may cause us to become increasingly uncomfortable in our congregations and it may eventually cause us to leave even if we don’t know where we are going. Even for those who are by no means struggling with the institution to the point of leaving, the question is still valid. I realize that the institution will remain and while it may move closer to the former description offered by Tickle than the latter, there is no way for it to become completely un-institutionalized. I’m ok with that. But, what I write against here is the institutionally loyal mindset that simply offers defense and annoyance in the face of skepticism. As I have said, I am not looking for the institutions to disappear, but a healthy dose of wrestling with the question of what is the church first and foremost and a willingness to confront theological conclusions that keep it stagnant would be a nice change.

the Quad-rinity...

2009-08-20T12:20:00.008-04:00

I remember sitting on a plane back in 2006 and running across a small advertisement for a book called Misquoting Jesus: The story behind who changed the Bible and Why. The title intrigued me and I showed it to a friend to see what his reaction would be. He said something like “It may be good, but it probably just trashes the Bible.” I understood what he meant. Being a biblical scholar doesn’t mean you have any faith in the way of Jesus. A few months later, I found myself sitting at an outdoor festival selling my wife’s hand made jewelry in 90 degree heat reading that book between customers. It was written by Bart Ehrman who chairs the Department of Religious studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Since then I have read his follow up entitled Jesus Interrupted which sounds a bit more antagonistically critical of Jesus and faith in Him, but it is not.

Ehrman is respectful, intelligent and inclusive. He has struggled with deep issues of faith himself for many years and is completely open with it within his writings. He is now an agnostic, but it is not because he believes the Bible has errors, discrepancies or contradictions, it is because of the problem of reconciling the pain and suffering in this world with an all powerful and loving God. If we are honest, we all struggle with this despite the answers that seem to work for us. He digs into this at length in his book God’s Problem which I am reading now.

Misquoting Jesus deals with exactly what the subtitle suggests. It is the best, most relevant and easily accessible read on the history of how we got the Bible that I have come across. In addition, Ehrman seems less interested in convincing you he is right and you are wrong than he is in just laying out the facts as best we know them and understand them to this point. In Jesus Interrupted, he continues dealing with the text, but takes it even further into struggling with what this all means in relation to faith and Jesus.

The problems with the text range from small discrepancies to bigger theological contradictions. In Mark 2:26 Jesus is quoted as saying “ In the days of Abiathar the high priest…” when in actuality in 1 Samuel 21:1-6 his father Ahimelech is the high priest. As expected, I ran across a long argument on-line about how to reconcile these two texts and I was left unconvinced and wandering how someone has the time to type that much. Ehrman digs into many, many discrepancies like this. A more interesting issue discussed in Jesus Interrupted is the question of what Jesus was like when he was crucified. Ehrman suggests that we cannot combine the gospel accounts into one and thus make another gospel entirely, but that we must take each one as it is from each author’s point of view. When we do this, we end up with very different stories. In Mark, Jesus makes one statement before Pilate and says nothing else. He is sentenced, mocked, his cross is carried by another man, on the cross He says, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” and then he dies with a loud cry. In Mark, Jesus is quiet and forsaken. In Luke, it is a bit different. On the way to the cross he comforts a group of women mourning and wailing for Him. While on the cross, He asks God to forgive the people for “they know not what they do” and He promises a fellow prisoner that he will be with Him in paradise. When he dies, he does not cry out as one forsaken, he , as one more in command, commits His spirit into His father’s hands. In Luke, Jesus seems in control, comforting and forgiving others. So which Jesus was it - quiet and forsaken or in control, blessing others along the way? Again, we can’t combine the stories into one making another account entirely. Ehrman talks at length about why these two accounts seem so different. You have to read the books. My short summation here is weak and incapable of capturing any part of what Ehrman does in a few hundred pages between the two writings.

For some time now I have been convinced that we do not believe in a Trinity, but more accurately a Quad-rinity. We have claimed the Bible is inerrant and infallible qualifying it to be the fourth member of the God-head. So, many of us want to make this an “either or” choice. Either the Bible is perfect as it is, or you can’t believe any of it. I don’t accept either option. I don’t believe the Bible as we have it is inerrant and infallible. Some seem to be comforted by the thought that it was in it’s original manuscripts, fine, but as Ehrman repeats, we don’t have the original manuscripts anyway. But, just because I believe the Bible that we have now is a much more human book than my heritage would like me to believe, that doesn’t mean that it is of no value –quite the opposite. Some would argue that if we accept the Bible has errors then we are left to only place value in what we pick and choose. As Ehrman purports and I concur, we do that anyway. We zero in on some points and completely act like others don’t exist no matter how much we claim to believe in the unquestionable authority of the Bible.

For me it has caused a shift to looking for the bigger picture. We have majored in the minors for so long that it has left us weak and irrelevant. We don’t argue much about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control. Those things are the bigger pictures in the Bible, Old and New, and in the words and actions of Jesus. This majoring in the minors has made us exclusive, narrow minded and in so many ways angry towards and untrusting of anyone else outside of our camps. The scope of what I have faith in has shrunk considerably. In turn, my faith in what is left, simply put this way of living called the way of Jesus, has collapsed into a more singular, dense, and yet simplistic force. I value the Bible, but I do not treat it as the fourth member of the God-head and no matter how much we want to take it at it’s word, I am constantly aware that we interpret every text. Even the most straight forward teaching “Love God and love your neighbor” must be interpreted. What does it mean to love God? I don’t think the answer is as complicated as we nor our churches would like to make it. I think the major themes and the bigger pictures are easy to find within scripture, even with all of its’ human influence.

mostly irrelevant…

2009-08-13T11:52:00.003-04:00

In 2006, I read Banker to the Poor by Muhammad Yunus. Here is a description of the book from an editorial review by Shane Carkonen:

It began with a simple $27 loan. After witnessing the cycle of poverty that kept many poor women enslaved to high-interest loan sharks in Bangladesh, Dr. Muhammad Yunus lent money to 42 women so they could purchase bamboo to make and sell stools. In a short time, the women were able to repay the loans while continuing to support themselves and their families. With that initial eye-opening success, the seeds of the Grameen Bank, and the concept of microcredit, were planted.

After earning a Ph.D. in economics at Vanderbilt University, Dr. Yunus returned to Bangladesh to settle into a life as a professor. But a famine in 1974 ravaged the country, leading Dr. Yunus to alter his thinking and his life profoundly: "What good were all my complex theories when people were dying of starvation on the sidewalks and porches across from my lecture hall? Nothing in the economic theories I taught reflected the life around me." Armed with little more than a lofty dream to end the suffering around him, he started an experimental microcredit enterprise in 1977; by 1983 the Grameen Bank was officially formed.

The idea behind the Grameen Bank is ingeniously simple: extend credit to poor people and they will help themselves. This concept strikes at the root of poverty by specifically targeting the poorest of the poor, providing small loans (usually less than $300) to those unable to obtain credit from traditional banks. At Grameen, loans are administered to groups of five people, with only two receiving their money up front. As soon as these two make a few regular payments, loans are gradually extended to the rest of the group. In this way, the program builds a sense of community as well as individual self-reliance. Most of the Grameen Bank's loans are to women, and since its inception, there has been an astonishing loan repayment rate of over 98 percent.

It is a fascinating read and one that has inspired me in many ways. Here is another quote from the book that continues to put it in perspective: “Sufiya Begum earned two cents a day. It was this knowledge that shocked me. In my university courses, I theorized about sums in the millions of dollars, but here before my eyes the problems of life and death were posed in terms of pennies. Something was wrong. Why did my university courses not reflect the reality of Sufiya’s life? I was angry, angry at myself, angry at my economics department and thousands of intelligent professors who had not tried to address this problem and solve it.“ Later, after collecting some data from a local village a worker for Muhammad Yunus found that 42 people in that village borrowed 865 taka – less than 27 dollars- from traders who lent the money on such terms that these borrowers had no chance of repaying the loans and making profit in order to become self sufficient, but would instead become continually indebted just to survive. Yunus exclaims, “My God, my God. All this misery in all these families all for of the lack of twenty-seven dollars!”

Did you catch the quote in the description where he asks “What good were all my complex theories when people were dying of starvation on the sidewalks and porches across from my lecture hall?” It is this mindset that inspires me and what led me to ask in last weeks post, “What could 200 people with roughly a couple hundred thousand dollars a year really do?” My answer: “Well that depends on their theology.” Similar to Yunus’ questioning of his professors and University courses, I often wonder, why do our theologies, our organizations, our classes, our sermons, and our church activities seem to be accomplishing so little? Are we as irrelevant as he felt discussing his complex economic theories while people died of starvation across from the lecture hall? Again, that depends on your theology and it seems to me that the theology of so many us continues to let us off the hook.

I am not expecting us all to do something as “visionary” as Muhammad Yunus, but I expect more than apathy, that’s the way things are, “what are you going to do” shoulder shrugs, or other clichés that seem to support continued stagnation. Like I said before, I am not expecting definitive answers, but personally, I am tired of patting myself on the back for church sub-culture accomplishments that remain mostly irrelevant to the realities of most of my community.

money and theology...

2009-08-06T00:09:00.003-04:00

As I said in a post way back in April, I fear that many of our congregations are black holes for resources. So often we burn through hundreds of thousands of dollars with mediocre results. We talk about the contributions of our members as offerings to God for His work to be done. Often, they end up just paying the bills so we can have church. You may think “What is so wrong with that? We need church and there is a lot of good done there.” While I wouldn’t necessarily choose to argue against that point, although I would be tempted to especially if it were said like that, what I would do is point out how low we have set our sights.

While mega churches may not be “mediocre” in their products and they may do things on a large scale with big budgets, highly produced services and a decent amount of grandeur, I am still left wondering if the amount of resources (cash and man hours) they burn through are yielding the highest level of return or really the desired return at all. As I have said before, I am not looking for hype and really fewer and fewer people are, but they are not looking for “typical” church either. So many non-mega churches are hype free, but they are also void of any aliveness. As my theology has shifted over time, it has caused me to question so much of what we do as congregations. Hence the title of the blog which hopefully is dripping with enough sarcasm it cannot be misinterpreted and all of my posts which have been dealing with this central theme of question and change.

I have shared this quote from Brian McLaren before, but haven’t found a better one so here it goes again. “Many of you will remember the two lists I talked about on the tour - the list of intramural religious debates in the Christian subculture hanging on one wall, and the list of global crises hanging on the other. A year after the EMC tour, it's clearer to me than ever that many if not most Christians in the US remain focused on the "religious arguments" list.” What if we weren’t? What if we could really move past our endless debates about some point that some theologian has written hundreds of pages on that ends up leaving us uninspired and overwhelmed by the complexity brought to what should be much more simple. Maybe Jesus chose fisherman instead of the top students of the day because he knew what the “greatest” minds would do to this deep way of living that he came to demonstrate.

On the most simplistic level our congregations are just groups of people who follow the way of Jesus pooling our resources together to accomplish a set of goals. So, the question to small, medium or mega churches and members is what if the finances that we are pooling together are being inefficiently used and what if they are being inefficiently used on goals that actually miss the mark? What if McLaren is right? We keep hashing up our “intramural religious debates” all the while we are burning a host of resources that could actually solve some much bigger needs and problems.

What could 200 people with roughly a couple hundred thousand dollars a year really do? Well that depends on their theology. We know what our current paradigm can produce. Some have managed this better than others. As I have said in a previous post, personally I have detangled from so much of the way we “do church” and the theology behind it. With that said, it leaves me and so many people like me (which believe me is an ever growing crowd) at the brink of possibility. Not that we are about to discover it all and get it all right, but that there really is a next chapter, not a final chapter, ready to be written. So we find ourselves ready to move from just fellowship to community, from just worship service to inspiring and engaging gatherings (minus the hype), from just Bible class to spiritual formation, from just service projects to finding actual solutions that change the world around us, from just getting people “saved” to more holistic healing, redeeming and reconciliation. With these shifts in theology and the abandonment of our current paradigm I wonder what 200 people with two hundred thousands dollars could do. If we weren’t looking to just start another church, hire another minister or build another building, what we would we actually do with our money and time? If we weren’t looking to just be another organization yet we would still have the need to be organized what would it look like? What would we do if we weren’t bound by a heritage or a denomination and we were free to discover a more organic way of Jesus as opposed to the more church sub-culture driven one we find ourselves being worn out by?

But, there is a problem facing existing churches and even church plants. In our current church paradigm which I call the “American Business Model” paradigm, theology and finance can go hand in hand. When one is talking about a particular congregation shifting theologically, finances have to be considered. If you anger a decent portion of your members by purposing certain theological shifts, your finances can change drastically. As much as we don’t want money and theology to partner up, in our current paradigm, there is no way around it. I don’t criticize congregations for taking this into account when making decisions, because it is a reality, yet I do criticize them for not finding a way around it or allowing this fact to hold them back. Yet so many congregations find themselves in grid lock because those with the money won’t let the theology shift. Maybe that should tell us something (or even smack us in the face) about the way things are set up. Maybe money has had way too much of a voice in our paradigm and instead of being a commodity that we use to do good, it has become a leader that calls way too many shots.

only the losers win...

2009-07-30T01:44:00.004-04:00

Only the losers win
They've got nothing to prove
They'll leave the world with nothing to lose
You can laugh at the weirdos now
Wait till wrongs are right
They'll be the ones with nothing to hide - Switchfoot "The Loser"

This week I have been privileged to take my youth group to Houston to be a part of a week long day camp for inner-city elementary aged children. This camp is a combo of reading classes and vbs with a lot of loud songs, crafts, skits and games. Many of these kids are given snacks when they arrive in the morning on buses and vans because they often don’t get breakfast at home. Without going into a lot of unnecessary details, that I feel would unfairly turn these kids into a sad story that would somehow twist everything around using their poverty to boost the impact of this post, I will simply say they don’t have very much at all. But, this program that we are fortunate enough to be a part of works to fill in some of the gaps by teaching them, feeding them, clothing them (they have a school supply shopping night which includes some new clothes) and simply loving on them. So, for the week, we get to be a part of that. This trip was started by the youth minister before me. He and I have since become friends as he brings his new group the very same week and we all work together. He has been connected to this program since college and has been bringing teens for years.

One of the other places we visit that he started taking the group to and that the teens do not want to give up is a place called Liberty Island. It is a home for adults who have mental illnesses among other handicaps. On one hand, it is a very sad place. It is run down, very unclean and dreary. On the other hand, as one of my teens pointed out, if they didn’t have this place, many of them would just be in the streets. There is a guy named Les who visits Liberty Island all the time with some friends of his. When we are in town, he lets us go with him. As we pull up to the facility, there is a smattering of residents outside. A couple in wheelchairs and one without any legs below the knee cap sitting by the stairs on the concrete in the hot Houston sun. As we enter the building, there are a few more residents in a musty lounge watching tv with others seemingly spaced-out sitting on couches not aware of much going on around them. We move into a big dining hall type room with round tables and chairs. There is a window right by us where the residents come up and get their medicine. A handful of residents are already sitting at tables waiting, most of them spread out as about 40 of us come and fill in space. As we wait, more residents find their way in and take seats with us. So, there we are, feeling awkward yet determined to push ourselves a bit and interact. As we do, we find that some of the residents can carry on very coherent conversations, others struggle, but that doesn’t stop them. They are usually much more comfortable with us then we are with them. Yet by our standards, they have the problems.

Les starts some songs and we sing and clap for probably 30-40 minutes. At some points the residents dance and laugh which rubs off on us. We find ourselves clapping, dancing and laughing somewhere between just being silly and actually feeling very free and happy ourselves. Afterward, the group spreads out and we find ourselves around tables talking to residents. I found myself talking to Rhonda. She had one crazy wig on with pink blush in perfect clown like circles on her dark cheeks. Her outfit was over the top and it was amazing to see her desire to look feminine combined with her mental illness resulting in a wild outfit, wilder hair and crazy makeup. To me, she was fun and whimsical and I thought about how the rest of us who we consider sane go to such drastic lengths ourselves to look good. Rhonda could carry on a conversation, but it was hard to follow at times. Her story that day included her being in the Navy since she was 14, working at a jewelry store for 30 years and something about some white girls she worked with. I’m not sure how much was true, but it was a good story. She told me she needed to work on her temper. She felt she had to be angry sometimes to get others to listen to her. We had passed out cheetos, cookies and juice to the residents we met with. When she saw I didn’t have any, she gave me two of her cookies and found a used, but empty cup and poured half of her drink in it. Right then, Les said we had to go. I imagine if I had stayed longer she would have insisted I eat the cookies that she had passed from her wet, cheetoh stained fingers and drink the juice from her backwashed cup. The better part of me would have been honored.

I always thought the beatitudes in Matthew 5 were about me, that I was supposed to be those things to be blessed. A favorite author of mine helped me see them differently. In short, the wealthy, the powerful, the aggressive, the popular and the successful are the ones honored or blessed in the kingdoms of men. In the kingdom of God, we honor those of a different list - the overlooked, the easily forgotten, the oppressed, the merciful, and the peacemakers. Our “firsts” are the “lasts” of the kingdoms of men. Unfortunately, the honored in our congregations often resemble more closely the valued of the kingdoms of men then they do the valued in the kingdom of God. Who was the last person your church clapped for or had stand up so every could see they were there? At the risk of coming across as having false humility, two nights ago sitting in that room beside Rhonda, I found myself ready on that day when everything is renewed to gladly take last place and watch, with tears of joy and pride, as she takes first.

question and humility…

2009-07-22T21:22:00.000-04:00

In my last post, I tried to point out that the changing of our paradigm will require convicted and repenting hearts. As much as theological wrestling, debate, points and counterpoints are needed, actually acting on the conclusions we come to will only happen out of convicted and repenting hearts. That is hardly a new concept, but even though we’ve heard it before, we often find ourselves with our heads buried in dogmatic discourse needing to find our way back to those deeper places inside ourselves. Those places that we live out of from time to time that actually have compassion and concern for the pain others and awareness and appreciation of beauty in life. Those places in our hearts where reasoning and feeling become partners. A friend of mine commented on the last post with this “…I can see a lot of people reading this and saying, "oh he's right." and then we all hop in our nice cars, connect our ipods, and rock out to the Zoe group on our way to the local "worship center" to get our weekly sermon podcast fix and then go on with our lives. My problem is that I have thought these same thoughts and gone down these same philosophical paths and yet I still haven’t done anything about it.”

It’s true. Some of us who are questioning everything and pointing fingers aren’t necessarily satisfied with what we are doing about it ourselves. We can point to instances or ideas, but overall we do a lot more verbalizing then acting. Some of us stay in our current churches working, talking and attempting to create “shift” or at least wishing and hoping, others of us have left church altogether, but aren’t sure what to with ourselves. There are some reasons for this lack of action. It would be easy to call these reasons excuses, but doing so simply to dismiss our point of view would be petty. To start, this “emerging” thought among groups and individuals is just that, “emerging.” If you have grown up or spent any amount of time in a particular church paradigm with guarded doctrines and set ways, moving from beginning to question your environment and its’ conclusions, to arriving at different conclusion and then to acting on those can be a lengthy process. That process would undoubtedly be quantified in years. So, on one hand, individually, it can help to identify where you are currently on that time-line. The reason you may not be sure of what to do and find yourself just going on with life is because you are still trying to draw new conclusions upon which to act.

In addition, you may not have much help. Maybe there is a book you can read, a blog, or a speaker you can listen to that really stirs things up within you, but day to day you are somewhat isolated without a mentor or a friend to help you find your way. Keep looking and keep praying for this person or group of people. We do need community to help us find our way in this. Give yourself time in this process of changing, but don’t let yourself off the hook when it comes to opportunities that present themselves.

This self evaluation leads me back to something else. In last weeks post, I wrote “Sometimes it seems like hardly anyone is asking themselves or their congregation hard questions.” What I meant by that was if your church is shrinking, has reached a plateau, or the average age is getting older it is past time to ask yourself why and the answer is not because of the godlessness of my generation or the young people today. I see so many Christians disengaging with a shake of the head followed by a disinterested comment of “I don’t get it.”

Taking cold hard looks at ourselves and our church groups is necessary. It isn’t being critical, bleak or arrogant although it can be done in an ugly and unhelpful way. So, we can’t just say affirming words and keep plugging away expecting our positivism to get us there. In fact, this questioning is the beginning of conviction and repentance. It is a questioning of our very purpose. I want to hear our current conclusions debated. I want to hear a sense of doubt in our voices about where we are. I want to hear that we are the problem and not just everyone else. I want to hear that we are searching. I want to hear silence in place of words that explain it all away. It is only in that humility of questioning ourselves that we can truly be brought to conviction and repentance. Before the changing of the paradigm comes conviction and repentance. Before conviction and repentance comes question and humility. What if we were willing to start over? What if we let go of heritage, prior conclusions and “the way things are” and did the hard work of pioneering? Maybe that is the journey that God is waiting to take us on…

considering arrogance and pride...

2009-07-15T18:55:00.001-04:00

Last week, I was attempting to convey that because our worship to God is about how we live and not primarily about singing songs to Him and listening to sermons, there is a need to take our “worship services” out of the center of our paradigm. But, this paradigm is deep-seated, to say the least, and making a shift as big as pulling out the very core of it is not only difficult, but truly impossible in many circles. Again, don’t get me wrong about the value of gathering together in a place of peace and inspiration, meditating, expressing, encouraging, and engaging in being shaped spiritually through this type of medium. I am simply saying that it is not the only way or the exclusively most important way to be spiritually formed. Furthermore, so many churches aren’t creating a place of peace, inspiration and etcetera as I just described anyway, but rather places of stuffiness, formality and often shallow tradition or the other end of the spectrum which consists of hype and major production. Tradition is not inherently shallow, by the way. It can be rich and full of deep meaning. But, a lot of what I have observed is far from that.

Some of our current paradigm comes from not only our understanding of what worship is all about, but also about what it is that God wants from us or what God is indeed doing. Last week I wrote, “We are so focused on our own personal piousness and securing our own personal salvation (usually motivated by “an unpredictable grace” theology) it is no wonder we have isolated ourselves in Bible classes and worship services feeding off the sound of our own voices week after week.” This topic has been written about extensively and thoroughly. The basic premise is that our view of this earth as a sinking ship in a cesspool of sin that we are just trying to escape while hoping to stay pure until we die or Jesus returns has a lot of problems within it and it has created a lot of unhealthiness among us. First, there is a lot of room to wrestle with the eschatological conclusions that have produced such a view. Maybe the way we think things are going to go down are based on some faulty understanding of certain passages. Furthermore, throw in what I call (and maybe I stole it from someone else – I’m not sure) “unpredictable grace” theology and it gets messy. It is a theology that never wants you to be too sure of your salvation. It may even ask you “Are you sure you’re sure?” It is usually focused on a being a good boy, going to church, doing church things, and not laughing at dirty jokes or saying cusswords as opposed to any kind of injustice rectifying. This approach is based on me going to heaven based on my on moral uprightness (combined with Jesus and the stuff He did, of course).

With that, it causes us to care less about what happens here. After all “this world is not my home, I’m just a passin’ through.” We sing that kind of like an uninterested tourist driving through a desolate African village full of hungry kids on our way to an evening of safari hunting and wine tasting. In addition, it has created in us this Pharisaical attitude that looks around and blames all the other sinners for the state of things. If they would only come to church and be like us than this world would be a better place, we think. So, with our unpredictable grace, a grace we can never be too sure of, we do churchy things to keep our lives clean and neat and hope, often with great fear, that we or our kids don’t “stumble” and can hold on to this sinking ship until we are saved from this God forsaken planet. That is simplistic of course, but in short, that mindset motivates our church subculture paradigm centered around worship services and bible classes that feed me what I need to stay in grace until that day.

In order for us to really shift our paradigm in any effective way, it will take conviction and repentance. Here is what I mean. I started my first fulltime ministry job at the age of twenty-three. My wife and I were about a year out of college and we moved to CA to work with a group of teens that have truly become some of the most extraordinary people I currently know. Then, I was 23 and they were anywhere from 14-18. It is hard to believe, but that beginning was almost 10 years ago. We are all so different now. That is the way life is. It is needless to say that I would do things very differently now than I did then. I would teach different things and I would rearrange the priorities of the ministry. It is not that I regret anything, it is just that hopefully with time and experience your priorities and understanding adjusts and moves in an even more positive direction than it is now. I give myself some grace being 23 at the time. But, what if I did regret something? It would probably be good for me. Maybe regrets are necessary. Not that we have to wallow in them or constantly feel guilty, but maybe owning up to shortcomings that are usually honest mistakes or understandable shallowness is part of the process. What if I am convicted now of ways I missed the point then?

Being unemployed for about 6 months as a result of a combination of life just happening and undoubtedly bad decisions I have made along the way has surely made me look at those who face hard times even as a result of their own ignorance completely differently than I used to. In my own head I constantly ridiculed the unkemptness of the lower class people I ran across in Wal-Mart as I walked by in my clean clothes with 4 different ways in my pocket to pay for whatever I needed. That is, until I found myself depressed and un-showered walking through that same store angry and without a lot of hope. It was during that time I began to give up on a lot of Christian clichés, but that is another post entirely. With that, I started to give up on formulaic Christianity that looked like this: know right + do (choose) right = God’s blessing and good life. It is not that simplistic or linear. That is another post as well.

My Christian pristine-ness had failed me, and beyond our shallow clichés, I began to abandon this view point that was centered on my own morality as the ticket to my own salvation from all the sin and sinners here. In Isaiah 58, God calls His people out for thinking that what He really wanted from them was some religious observance. The kind of fasting He wanted was not to just bow one’s head or humble one’s self for a day. What He wanted them to do was to “share their food with the hungry, clothe the naked, stop exploiting their workers, loose the chains of injustice and set the oppressed free.” The kind of worship He wants from us is not to just sing songs on a Sunday in a room with pews. It is to feed, love, clothe, release, free and rebuild.

This shift won’t happen without conviction and repentance. Unless we have been hungry, unloved, exploited, chained or unless we are willing to form relationships with those who have, we will lack the sufficient conviction to truly turn away from our current paradigm and search for a new one. The Pharisees in John 9 thought they could see clearly. They weren’t willing to rethink anything but instead worked to force everything else to make sense within their current world-view. It turned out that a blind beggar with no education nor redeeming quality was the one with better vision (ahh, what a great church/business word, vision – I can see God mocking us now). In that story, one would have learned more down on the street than in the synagogue-church. Times haven’t changed much and in so many ways, neither have we. I hope we can. But, it will take open hearts embracing conviction and willing to do the hard work of turning-it-around-repentance. Sometimes it seems like hardly anyone is asking themselves or their congregation hard questions. Unfortunately, it usually takes a lot of pain to get us there.
* I want to acknowledge that the concluding thrust of this post (repentance –conviction) is directly inspired by an e-mail exchange with a friend earlier this month. He said it differently but it was a great point I used here.

welcome withdrawals…

2009-07-08T19:42:00.002-04:00

As I said last week, “I want to switch gears a bit. Instead of pointing out how we have missed the point, I want to move into ‘where do we go from here?’” Not that I am done with criticism and not that I have “what is next” all mapped out. This is undoubtedly going to be an imperfect place to start, but I’m ok with that.

My very first post is titled “God will die if you don’t sing.” You can read it by clicking on “March” in the “Blog Archive” menu to the left and scrolling down to it. In that post, I made a few points about what I believe worship truly is. If you haven’t read it, unfortunately you probably should. You may not agree with my conclusions, but at least you will understand where I am coming from in this post. A lot of people view “worship services” in the same light as an Old Testament religious duty with a lot of prescribed details and regulations all to be offered to God in the “right” way every holy Sunday. I see worship as the “posture” of one’s life (all inclusive) and what we call “worship services” I see more as “gatherings” designed to encourage and spiritually form us. With this view, come a lot less rules and stuffiness than in the typical view of worship purported in my heritage. Again, my first post goes into more detail of why I see things this way.

A friend of mine referenced a great article by Jason Zahariades, found here, in a comment on one of my early posts. I have sent this article to many people and it is definitely worth taking the time to read. In the article a guy, who is not named (aka some dude) is quoted as saying,

“Here's a strong statement: most evangelicals, including Vineyard people, are addicted to church culture. Take away their Sunday service, their bible studies, prayer meetings, and five-song worship teams and they start having withdrawals quickly. I think that it is a necessary part of this process to have a detox time...

That is a strong statement indeed, but one that I believe to be entirely accurate. Here is another strong statement: We need to remove these worship services from the center of our paradigm. Everything we do centers around these times and everything else usually takes a back seat. We are so focused on our own personal piousness and securing our own personal salvation (usually motivated by “an unpredictable grace” theology) it is no wonder we have isolated ourselves in Bible classes and worship services feeding off the sound of our own voices week after week. I don’t know about you, but my personal Christian time sheet over the last almost two decades is filled with “worship services”, bible classes, devotionals, and the like only to be occasionally dotted with “hand to hand” service, community involvement and spattered concern for the easily overlooked. I take responsibility for this, but the pull of the church paradigm current most of us have floated in for years can be hard to swim against. That is why the guy I quoted above suggested a detox. It is like any other addiction. If you are going to change your “Christian lifestyle” or “church paradigm” it will take blatantly saying “no” to what you have been doing for years and it will hurt, be confusing and feel very awkward.

Our gatherings, which typically include prayer, songs, teaching, sharing and encouragement are designed to spiritually form us. But these gatherings aren’t the only way we are shaped. I talk about this even more in “The way to the Way” in June and “Looking in the wrong place” in May. What if we stopped overemphasizing “worship services” and worked to create more equity between encouraging gatherings, serving/community involvement, learning/discipleship, and fellowship (These are just broad titles and an imperfect list)? We often want to keep our worship service anchor and work everything else off of it. This causes two problems. One, as I said before, everything else usually becomes secondary. Many people make it to Sunday church, but not much else. This really makes for imbalance in their (and our) formation leaving so many of us immature. Why? Because worshipful gatherings are just one part of the multitude of ways to be spiritually formed. Two, by adding everything else around our staple Sunday “worship service” we usually begin to create very big and time consuming programs. The major problem with this is that it often leads to isolating ourselves in our church-subculture. I talk about this battle for time also in the “The way to the Way” in June.

So, what am I suggesting? Maybe there is room to explore a more balanced schedule in the chunk of a month. Maybe week 1 consists of a Sunday (anytime) or Saturday night worshipful gathering of praise, sharing, encouragement, and learning. Maybe week 2 is service/community involvement project again on Sunday or Saturday. This could be done in a large group or a smaller groups spread out. Ideally this would involve some long-term commitments instead of a series of random projects.. Week 3 would involve a men’s camaraderie event(“fellowship” is worn out and reminds me of paper plates and styrofoam cups and not necessarily “good times” – although I’m not sold on “camaraderie” either) on one night and a women’s on another. Week 4 could be a week for classes and deep, spiritual discussion. I realize this doesn’t speak to youth groups or children’s ministry, but if you read the article quoted earlier, it makes some good points that speak to those. What would you do on a weekend where the service event happened on Saturday and there was nothing planned for Sunday? Rest, spend time with your family, have your own small group gathering….This isn’t perfect, but the main point is that we need to make major changes in our over emphasis of “worship services” and under emphasis of everything else. One way to begin to explore that is to take “worship services” 0ut of the center of the paradigm and put them on a list of other equally important and spiritually forming items and let the withdrawals begin.

the ties that bind…

2009-07-02T10:35:00.001-04:00

The last few years I have been attempting to detangle myself from the many ways my heritage and our American church sub-culture as a whole have missed the point. This blog has been about articulating this detangling on various points. The 15 posts or so that I have made so far aren’t exhaustive and there are quite a few more points or topics I would like to cover. But, I want to begin to switch gears a bit. Instead of pointing out how we have missed the point, I want to move into “where do we go from here?” So over the next few weeks, I plan to start that process. I want to avoid just replacing the current paradigm with a tweaked one, but these posts won’t be written from a stand point of, “I have found it” or “Here is how I did it.” Admittedly, they will have a level of curiosity or idealistic wondering, but hopefully this will allow for even more question and conversation as all of us see the need to begin to authentically explore this territory beyond our current institutions. There won’t be a 5 point plan next week. I plan to take my time. Maybe I’m just stalling…

I’m not naïve enough to say I am completely detangled. Yet, as I write, I can’t think of much that I am hanging onto. My faith is, at this point, very simplistic which leaves me in a very free place to re-think so much of what we do and how we do it. Church leaderships and members everywhere are struggling with this re-thinking of religion and faith. Not that this hasn’t happened before (or doesn’t continually happen), but we seem to find ourselves in a moment where this re-thinking is around every corner and churches across many denominations seem to be gaining or losing members because of it. Some fear that we are all just becoming less religious and blame society for their lack of interest in church stuff. I wonder if that is a bad thing if “losing my religion” means moving away from unwavering acceptance of our institutions and towards a more authentic pursuit of this way of Jesus.

This detangling process can be complicated on an individual and a group level. I respect that. I don’t ever expect someone to have all the answers and I would never want to set an “artificial” time-line for it to be done. (just a little political humor) But, we do make a lot of excuses. While it is necessary to “settle” at times, I can’t always have a “things will never be perfect, so just make the best of it” attitude. I can’t “accentuate the positive” without working to “eliminate the negative.” Remember that old annoying song? Some would say it is not about the issues, it is just about Jesus. I wouldn’t disagree, but that is often used to talk out of both sides of our mouths. When talking to the “weaker brothers” this means “stop making so many rules.” When talking to the “stronger brothers’ this mean “hey, you’re technically free to do that, but drop it already and make the best of it.” This would be fine if we were talking about the same issues that Paul was in Romans 14. He was talking about “food” and “sacred days.” If I determine there is nothing wrong with drinking a beer, that doesn’t mean it is a good idea for me to drink a beer at my next youth group gathering nor should I take it to someone’s house I know doesn’t think the same way as me and just chug it in their face. Fair enough. At the same time, I don’t know how any of the “weaker” brother’s could have read that chapter and come away still holding onto their faulty conclusions. Paul was clear that what the “stronger” ones were doing was not wrong. Yet he wrote it in a way that let the “stronger” ones know their flaunting didn’t help anyone while at the same time letting the “weaker” one’s know they were missing the point.

There are some valuable principles in Romans 14, but we seem to try and apply that passage to every conceivable situation under the sun leaving ourselves only as “strong” as the “weakest” will allow. Most of the issues we argue about in my heritage and most of the issues that are involved in this re-thinking of religion are issues that have roots deep in our theological conclusions. While I don’t want to get bogged down in the issues, the issues are directly connected to the foundations of our theology. So to me, they are not just issues, but they are symptoms of a real problem. While I want to treat the real problem, I also want to clear up the symptoms.

What I am saying is that I think this detangling is appropriate and needed. This is what motivates me to write and I find myself growing increasingly convinced of it. Our relationships are valuable but we can’t let those keep us from removing things in front of us that inhibit our effectiveness and productiveness. That would be like valuing your hair over the removal of a brain tumor. At times an invasive procedure is necessary for your future and overall health. Can detangling take some time? Yes. Can it be complicated? Yes, especially in groups but also individually. But, as I said I am convinced it is necessary and vital and that we must continue to find our way in it. Some don’t agree and they think that landscaping around the tree stump is good enough, because after all “it would take a backhoe and a lot of work to remove it and even then you still might fail.” That’s not me. What about you? Where do you fit in?

somewhere in the middle...

2009-06-25T11:48:00.006-04:00

There are a couple of terms that I have used in previous posts that you may or may not be familiar with. Others have written on them for years and they are not exclusive to religious debate. For my simple blog, let me offer a simple definition.

“Moderns” or “Modernity” is rooted in reductionism. It is an attempt to explain a complex set of facts or an entity by understanding its’ smaller pieces. By understanding its’ smaller pieces and then putting those pieces back together, one can understand the whole.“Post-moderns” or “Post-modernity” is grounded in “deconstructionism.” Simply put, it seeks to “poke holes” in the conclusions or absolute truths asserted by “moderns”.

In our church and Christian sub-culture, we have been very scared of post-modernity. At its’ extreme, post-modernity leaves no room for absolute truth and everything is relative. Yet modernity at its’ extreme can be equally dangerous. Consider these two quotes by Brian McLaren from an open letter to Chuck Colson found here.

“Anyway, Chuck, you’re legitimately worried that “postmoderns” will use their relativism as an excuse to do anything they want. But they’re worried that you and other “moderns” will use your absolutism as an excuse to do anything you want.”

“Even for those of use who claim to know God and have faith in the Bible: we need to look back over our own history and realize that just as there are disastrous consequences to claiming there is no such thing as legitimate moral judgment, there are also disastrous consequences to claiming that we have unquestionably legitimate moral judgment. Our ancestors judged slavery as morally justified, and brought in Scripture to enforce their point; we now judge slavery wrong, also using Scripture. Are we so naïve to think that all our judgments are finally right, just because we quote the Bible?”

In the article, McLaren repeatedly articulates that a “post-modernity” that claims “no morality, no ethics, and no reality is truly pathetic and dangerous.” Yet at the same time he writes “people like me want neither the self-indulgent narcissism of the one[extreme post-modernity] nor the unreflective absolutism of the other[modernity].” I find myself in the same place. I am by no means a “no-truth, everything is relative” kind of guy. But, I am equally not a “we have it figured out, now we just need to preserve it and defend it” kind of guy. Did you notice his description of modernity in the last quote? Unreflective absolutism. As much as I am distressed by “self-indulgent narcissists” I am equally distressed by those who seemingly see no value in reflecting or questioning. Actually changing is a whole other topic.

So I am somewhere in the middle. It is a place where truth and question become partners and not enemies. I don’t want to be overly dramatic and I am undoubtedly about to be, but the analogy makes my point, so please excuse me and know that I don’t take myself too seriously(I think). From my simplistic perspective, I look at the events in Iran (and really in our own American Revolution) and see people who are waking up to the laws, rules, power and leadership that had been sold to them as absolute reality and truth. Simply put, they are now questioning the reality, the hierarchy and the existence they have been handed and they are wondering and I am sure may undoubtedly be convinced that there is a greater way to live than what the current generation in power (and the ones before them) has offered. I have imagined if I lived there. Would I protest vigorously and risk death which would leave my children fatherless or would I stay inside to live another day and raise them? I would hope that I would teach them more about living in my dying than I would by just accepting things as they are in order to wake up another day. (Thankfully, I don’t have to make that choice today and I sincerely can’t imagine what it would be like to have to. So again, excuse my simplicity.)

I see it very similarly in my heritage and in the church sub-culture around me. Almost all of my posts so far have been about ways we have missed the point. At the heart of things, this is not an exercise of theological musing and banter. To me this all matters. These ideas are not just about tweaking our church paradigm here or there. I don’t think everything is generally ok because, after all, nothing will ever be perfect. I think that so many absolutists have not only gotten some things wrong, but that they have been downright destructive in the conclusions that they refuse to honestly reflect on. I can’t just ignore it or just play along and accept it. I can’t look at my daughter and say “Melanie, I think our conclusion about women and their role in the church is completely wrong and based on faulty theology, but you’re just going to have to make the best of it because daddy can’t do anything about it.” Right now I am just talking and writing. I’ll be very disappointed in myself if it never leads to doing and creating.

narrowing the margins...

2009-06-17T22:15:00.003-04:00

Last week, I wrote this: “It is as if we say ‘Sure, there is “goodness” outside of church, but it lacks value because it is not placed in the right context.’ In essence, my goodness is better than your goodness. Why? Because I am doing it aware of God and you are not.”

Not only have we in many ways marginalized the efforts of others for the reason I stated above, we have also marginalized the people themselves. I used to marginalize some of them by calling them “Good Ol’ Boys”. This basically stemmed out of this “church centered” view that I held for so long as opposed to a more “way of Jesus centered” view. Most of my blog posts have been dealing with the difference between these two views and my most recent posts have been attempts to poke some holes in and identify problems with the church centered view I am abandoning. Good ol’ boys were the guys at church that came, but didn’t do much. They never taught classes, did much in worship services, lead any committees…maybe they led a prayer or counted people, but overall they really didn’t bring much “spiritual” value to the table. They were good guys, but they didn’t really seem to be “on fire” for God or any other cliché we use. In our church sub-culture, they were just members.

Now I know we are called to be more than “nice men”. We are to be “new creations”. So what I am not saying is just be decent, that is all there is to it and there is nothing left to discuss. What I am saying and have been repeatedly is that what our churches have handed to us as true spirituality is in so many ways in addition to what Jesus pointed us to. (see my post “the way to The Way”) Within our church sub-culture, these good ol’ boys don’t have much value beyond their monetary contributions and the occasional “help a family move day” that they might show up for. I find myself abandoning so much of what the church has said this way of Jesus is all about and attempting to take Jesus at His word in what he says it is all about. The “church centered” view is full of exclusiveness and valuing of others based on what I perceive they are doing for God (read: what they are doing for the church.)

Maybe they can’t sing, lead great prayers (whatever that means), teach deep theological classes, deliver solid sermons, or a whole host of other church things. If they don’t play a prominent role at church, do we begin to devalue them? Beyond good ol’ boys, there are a whole host of other classifications of people that don’t quite fit in. I knew a guy once who cut his hair (he was in his 40’s and had long hair for years) because an older and deservedly well respected member (I respected him too) told him that he could have more influence or credibility with others if he did so. I understand differences in generations and times, but this man was basically told “If you want to play an effective role in this church paradigm, you need to look the part.”

There are so many people that “don’t look the part” or aren’t skilled in our typical up front church stuff that are being undervalued around us because of it. As I have gotten to know some of these people I find there are usually layers of depth and beautiful talents I arrogantly don’t expect. They are so often the most gracious people among us, and they usually are much better at mixing in with the community and creating relationships than most church leaders including myself.

A few years ago I found myself unemployed for six months. It was extremely hard and we did everything we could to make it through as well as possible. Our families helped us in anyway they could and we wouldn’t have made it without them. Not that I expected or was looking for others to bail me out, but besides them, there was one other guy who did something that really made all the difference one month. He was a good ol’ boy from the back row that never taught a class, never led a prayer and never led a song. But, apparently he kept some money in an account that he used from time to time to help someone else who may need it at some point –that month it was me.

In so many ways our churches are shallower because we have overlooked people or unnecessarily tried to make them look like us. I often look at those of us who do “fit the part” or who do posses the “valued” skills in our churches and wonder what would happen if that changed. What if we for some reason stopped fitting the part or our skill began to fall short? Would we loose value? I also wonder what would happen if the paradigm shifted. What if we weren’t “worship service” centered? Would who we value become more inclusive? What if we didn’t have everyone clap for the Christian college president visiting our church, but we worked harder at including the easily overlooked?

I can’t end this post without writing that our most egregious marginalizing has been done to women which is a topic I plan to write about in the coming weeks…

My good is better than your good…

2009-06-11T12:12:00.002-04:00

I wrote this in last week’s post: “For years the church as been telling me that it [life outside of our Christian sub-culture] is bad and that they (outsiders) are bad and that the only good things left are found within their teachings, ministries, music, and people.” And this: “What if our organizations have essentially cut in on us and sold us “their way” as opposed to ‘Jesus’ way’?”

At some point during last winter, our friend had organized a small coat drive. So, my wife participated and donated a coat. This was a nice coat she had found at a great price. It was still in style and still in great shape. Last week, we had dinner with this friend that had organized the drive and his wife. We have had a lot of dinners with them since the drive, but we never really talked about how things turned out. The coat drive came up in our conversation and my wife mentioned that she had donated a coat. Our friend remembered and told her that the girl that got her coat said something to the effect of “You mean I get to have this one?” He remembered her excitement. I can imagine that it would be a pleasant surprise to show up expecting just any coat in order to stay warm and actually receive one that you felt good about wearing – to have something nice when you don’t have much of anything at all.

On the way home my wife talked about how she felt when she bought that coat herself. Like most of us, we don’t just buy whatever we want whenever we want it. Sometimes there are things that we would like to have, but can’t spend that much money on. Finding a coat you like and getting it at a great price can be a beautiful thing. As she went through her things to find what she had to donate, she came across this coat. She remembered the excitement she had felt and she hoped that God would allow the person who received it to feel the same way about it. She even slid some money in a side pocket hoping it would be another moment of being surprised by joy for someone whose life was probably fairly bleak at the time.

My wife and I have both grown up in churches, worked at churches, participated in a lot of camps, retreats, conventions, small groups and on and on. We have seen a lot of beauty in church and a lot of beauty outside its doors. After talking about the coat story on our drive home from our friend’s house she said “If I had to make a choice, I would much rather give 100 needy children coats than be a part of 100 powerful worship services.”

I hear a lot of Christians wanting to make sure that we all understand that “goodness” in itself is not enough. They want us to be sure that you can be good, but if you don’t have Jesus its’ not enough. I understand matters of faith and belief, but as I have said before, I think we have grossly compartmentalized things calling these things “spiritual” and these other things “worldly”. It is as if we say “Sure, there is “goodness” outside of church, but it lacks value because it is not placed in the right context.” In essence, my goodness is better than your goodness. Why? Because I am doing it aware of God and you are not.

I wonder if Jesus would tell us that He can’t be separated from goodness. That if you find goodness, you find Him even if you are not aware of it and even if you don’t “connect the dots.” I wonder if the dots we typically connect in our institutions miss the point. In fact I am sure they do.

In Matthew 7:21-23, Jesus describes a group of people that call Him Lord and yet He essentially never knew them. In my more arrogant and institutional days, this verse was often used to describe “others” who claimed to be Christians only to find out in the end that they had gotten it wrong (on doctrinal issues of course) and really weren’t serving God as he so desired. Within the immediate context, He is talking about recognizing those who are of God and of His way by their fruit. These people that called Him Lord were doing all kinds of “churchy” things. They prophesized, performed miracles, and drove out demons - the kind of things only done by “true spiritual warriors” (yes, those are sarcastic quotation marks). Yet, these people who seemed so “spiritual” were called “evildoers.” These people did these things, but according to the passage, they did not do the will of the Father.

Could it be that we do “Christian” things with all of our church stuff, deep theological classes, detailed worship services and the like and yet overlook the very will of God? Could I be the one calling out “Lord, Lord” from my office in my church where I’m a minister doing all of my church things with all of my intricate understanding about God and yet out there on the street is a person who does not have that same deep understanding, does not have those same church connections and who is completely unable to put his or her life and actions in the correct theological context and yet their “good” fruit is completely in the will of the Father. Wouldn’t it be ironic if on Sunday morning while I spend my time teaching and preaching about what that will actually is there is someone else who has never given a sermon and would be completely unable to stand in a pulpit with any credibility and deliver the kind of sermon or organize the type of worship service that we have become addicted to and yet, despite that, they are doing the will of the Father and I am not. Why does this sound like so many stories in the bible where Jesus found goodness in the non-religious while the emptiness of the religious stood by exposed for what it was?

the way to the Way...

2009-06-04T10:50:00.000-04:00

As a minister I have found myself in a fight for attention - trying to get people (in my case parents and students) to buy into the ministry that I oversee - trying to get people to give their time to my “church stuff” as opposed to “worldly” things - trying to get them to make my classes, events, devos, and projects a priority over other extra-curricular activities. I know one minister who used to get frustrated with some of his members when they would stay out doing a particularly fun hobby all weekend instead of coming back in town Saturday night to be a part of things Sunday morning. We accept that people have jobs, school, family time and maybe a hobby, but there is a line. If a student plays 3 sports, he or she will never make the winter retreat or Wednesday night classes. If a parent works long days and then goes off doing recreational activities all weekend, where is the time for ministry?

Sometimes it is as if we are saying to people “A majority of your life doesn’t matter. Work, unless you do fulltime ministry, is just a job. It’s part of the curse. Sure you might be a doctor or a social worker, but that is secondary service to humans. Your hobbies and sports are things to do, but those aren’t really living and the aliveness you feel in them is of this world. Sure you have to work, go to school and sleep, but after that, you need to give your life to Christ and become a member of the church. By “church” we don’t mean the world-wide faith community of those that follow Him, we mean this place here and the worship services, schedule, programs and ministries that we offer on behalf of Jesus. If you buy into what we are doing, then you can fully live.”

In my last post I wrote this: “The claim is that through a regiment of “worship services”, classes, small groups, ministries, programs and the like one can be spiritually formed. The problem is that our organizations often work to submerge us in a Christian sub-culture thinking that in this controlled and sterile environment, spiritual growth can take place.” As I said last post, some spiritual formation does indeed take place within our institutions, but my point was that spiritual formation is truly done by God and it more dynamically happens “out there” as opposed to in our buildings. In many ways we have stepped in between people and God and worked hard to get them to commit to our organizational regiment.

Sometimes I feel we are actually working to get people committed to our “church stuff” instead of “the way of Jesus.” Undoubtedly, our “church stuff” is a reflection of the way of Jesus, but it is often much more complicated. We have countless books on church dynamics, models, programs and ministries to prove as much. I think the way of Jesus is much more simple and, as I have been saying, organic. Yet it is as if the church has stepped in the middle and said “Jesus is the Way and our institution (and all that comes with it) is the way to the Way.”

Jesus didn’t come to pull people out of their lives and give them new “institutional ones.” He didn’t say that His yoke was easy and light, but it comes with a big budget, programs, intricate doctrinal stances and a whole lot of rules. His way comes to us where we live. I understand that there is much about life as we know it that is not good. There is suffering, toiling, and emptiness around every corner. The reasons for the state of life as we know it have been written about and wrestled with inconclusively forever. Yet, as I live, in my better moments, I still seem to catch glimpses of the original core of beauty in this physical life we live. This world as we know it is not my home, but it seems like it is a shadow of a place I was supposed to live in. It is as if behind the layer of soot caked on from our constant messes, the engraving from the Original Maker can still be detected and reminds us that at the core of this existence living is good.

For years the church as been telling me that it is bad and that they (outsiders) are bad and that the only good things left are found within their teachings, ministries, music, and people. It’s caused me to be fearful, isolated, judgmental, and narrow-minded. Being in full-time ministry has allowed me to submerge myself in this Church sub-culture all the more. In many ways it has left me shallow.

What if in some ways we have been serving our institutions and not quite serving Jesus? What if it wasn’t “well you have your work and family life and you have your Christian sub-culture church life”? What if our organizations have essentially cut in on us and sold us “their way” as opposed to “Jesus’ way”? What if we caught on?

skipped post...

2009-05-27T21:38:00.002-04:00

I try to write a new post each week and post it by Thursday. Due to a really sick wife and daughter, writing has taken a back seat this week. I am sure you understand. Thanks for checking the blog and be sure to check back next Thursday, or catch up on some posts you may have missed below.

Looking in the wrong place…

2009-05-20T23:46:00.001-04:00

In Acts 17:24-28, Paul says this, "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'”

In some ways our institutions have gotten in the way. Spiritual formation does happen in our organizations, but I don’t think “churches” as we know them now are the natural places for spiritual formation to take place. As I have been trying to articulate in the last two posts, they have in many ways become more “synthetic” than “organic”. It is the difference between eating a fresh pineapple in Hawaii and picking up a can of slices at your local grocery store. The one can be good, but it doesn’t compare to the one that was grown right at the Dole Plantation, pulled from the tree and brought to your plate. So it is with our church institutions. They afford some teaching, some community, some growth, some experience, but I am asserting that there is more and it can’t be “organized” even with the best intentions.

According to the above passage, God is the one who has placed us here in this time and in this location. He did this so that we may seek Him. He is not in our temples and He needs nothing from us. He put us here to be alive, to exist fully. He is the one who forms us, shapes, and leads us and yet, so many of our churches attempt to lead people within their doors to find, to know, and to experience God. The claim is that through a regiment of “worship services”, classes, small groups, ministries, programs and the like one can be spiritually formed. The problem is that our organizations often work to submerge us in a Christian sub-culture thinking that in this controlled and sterile environment, spiritual growth can take place.

Yet, spiritual growth is messy. If it is something that is orchestrated by the God we see in the Bible, it is anything but controlled and sterile. In the Bible we see Him showing up in unexpected places, asking unexpected people to do unexpected things. There is danger, tragedy, despair, hope, pain, healing… It is a God moving and working in the very lives we live and within the creation we now exist. What I am saying is that it is time for our churches to stop reaching out to the community and realize that we are the community. These club houses we have created have good intentions, but maybe this God we believe in has dirt under His fingernails as opposed sitting on padded seats with His nose in a book talking theology. Instead of looking to be spiritually formed so we can go “out there” and use it, maybe true, deep spiritual formation happens “out there”. Maybe this is why so many people return from “mission trips” inspired and changed, only to quickly become disappointed and jaded by what they are coming home to.

I’m not calling you to give up church. I am calling you to think critically and ask questions. I am calling you to be open to shifting the paradigm. Maybe it is time for our churches to start pushing people out the door. We so often work hard to bring people in and help them find their spiritual shape within our congregation so they can determine what ministry they could play a part in. I think we should show them the door and say, “Find your shape in the world. See if you can find God out there. Then, come back and tell us about it. Come back and take others with you to that spot where you met God and to that spot where He changed you.”

the non-religion…

2009-05-13T21:11:00.004-04:00

Note: if you didn’t read last week, read it before this one…Last week I finished with this statement: …Recovering this way of Jesus from our institutional and assembly-line manufacturing and finding it growing in its’ more natural state. I used communion as an example of how we have taken things and over time seemingly processed them resulting in their denaturalization.

I have read/heard at least two authors now (Peter Rollins and Timothy Keller) purport that the early Christians were called “atheists”. This is because then Christianity was essentially a non-religion. They had no temple, no priest, and they no longer offered sacrifices. “Jesus himself was the temple to end all temples, the priest to end all priests, and the sacrifice to end all sacrifices.” (Keller The Prodigal God pg14) So many of the trappings that decorated a religion at that time were not included in this way of Jesus. How things have changed.

So much of what we do now looks exactly like a religion. Our paid ministers (me) have become the new priests. Depending on where you attend, suits or polo shirts are the priestly garments. Our churches are undoubtedly our temples and our sacrifices offered at the altar are an hour of “worship service” and gifts of money.

As I said last week, I don’t think communion was a sacrament “instituted” by Jesus for the sake of religious observance, but more so it was a friend or an older brother asking those he was leaving to remember him the next time they found themselves eating these common things. Their gatherings weren’t like our “worship services” with opening and closing prayers, sitting in pews singing songs, with an order of worship crafted to bring us through different “moments” from the “welcome” and “call to worship” to the graveness of the Lord’s Supper, an up beat song before the sermon followed by a song that pulls on the heart promoting repentance and then finishing with a more celebratory song to send us out.

As I look at the beginnings of this way of Jesus, I see them being more natural and less manufactured. It started with a group of people who believed in this person as the Messiah and they believed in this way of living that he talked so much about. They gathered together, they shared meals, they shared in discussions about all that Jesus said and did and what that meant for them, they prayed, they helped each other and they helped others around them. They lived life together closely, and they discovered together the greatness of this way of Jesus that calls us to generosity, humility, graciousness and mercy as opposed to selfishness, arrogance, hatefulness and cruelty. It was about living in this way and not about religious traditions, worship services, or doctrinal nuances.

If the first followers of Jesus were to be transplanted into our culture, this is what I think they would do: They would meet in each others homes, cookout, and play together. They would share in discussions about Jesus and this way of living He has shown us. They would listen to and respect each other, men and women, young and old alike. They would help each other as they faced health, financial or relational struggles. They would love each other’s children. They would work together for the benefit of others around them in their community in an effort to bring solutions to their problems. They would be a part of their community and the lives of others in it. They would embrace music and other forms of artistic expression that enrich our lives with beauty and meaning. Prayer, reading, chunks of teaching we call sermons, singing, and giving would all find themselves weaved throughout this lifestyle naturally. In these places we would undoubtedly “encounter” God wherever He may be and we would have no need to manufacture “moments” or “experiences” in auditoriums that we hope result in people “feeling the spirit moving.”

As you read the above paragraph, you may have thought to yourself that much of what I described above can be found in varying degrees within our 21st century churches. Undoubtedly, some of these same themes of sharing, learning, and merging our lives together are taking place in our church communities. The issue I have at the moment is everything else that comes with it. The way we have organized, processed, streamlined, and institutionalized this way of Jesus often makes it burdensome and shallow. It works against us instead of making us more productive or effective. We have added a bunch of preservatives that so often get in the way of its' more natural benefits. Most of my posts to this point have been about these ways that our church organizations have gotten in the way and continually miss the point. So, if you would like more explanation, start with my previous posts.

This is not for everyone. Many people are comfortable with the organization even if they see some of the negative. They are fine in dealing with it in order to maintain the positive. They are happy with “tweaking” this or that or just doing some things better. I have no problem with that. I am not interested in making you buy into anything and I am not arguing that you are “wrong” and I am “right”. Yet, there is an increasing number of people, especially in their 20’s-30’s (although by no means exclusively) that are finding themselves becoming more and more disconnected with what we know as church. Some of them still fill the pews, but find themselves leaving church angry or frustrated even if they can’t articulate why. Others have stopped “going” altogether. Most of what I am writing is for them. My hope is that they can find ways to articulate their frustrations and more importantly so that they can see that their disconnectedness with church doesn’t equate to disconnectedness with the way of Jesus.

the manufacturing of Jesus…

2009-05-06T22:30:00.005-04:00

I am going to start by making a point that many of you may have heard from me (or someone else I’m sure) before. If you have heard this, stick with me, because at the end I use this initial point to make a broader point that is really the intent of this blog.

If you have grown up or spent any amount of time within my heritage, you have undoubtedly heard someone talk about Jesus “instituting” the Lord’s Supper. It’s a dry, boring and official sounding word that lends itself to the thought that what Jesus was doing that night was giving them a new religious ritual to be done in their worship services. Personally, I think the way we talk about it and the way we “do” it misses the point.

This was a group of friends (one not so much) who came together for one last meal. In Luke’s account (22:15), Jesus is quoted as saying, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.” At the heart of this meal is a friend spending one last night with his closest companions before he “leaves.” It involves the same sentiments as a man meeting at his favorite restaurant with his group of closest friends sharing food that they frequently enjoyed together and saying to them, “When you guy’s come here next time and I am gone, don’t forget me. When you eat this burger that we have shared so many times and that you will undoubtedly share again, remember me as a part of this. When you drink that Coke, remember when I was here with you.” This bread and wine were not uncommon things. They would have found themselves with bread and wine in hand frequently. Maybe after this last night with Jesus, as they ate these common things, they would find themselves in the middle of chewing a mouthful of bread thinking, “Wait, I remember eating this with Jesus.”

Maybe communion should be less of a ritual and more like this: Have you ever, worked hard all day in the sun with a group of friends? Maybe you were helping one of them move or remodel. After a long day you find yourself tired, sore, dirty and extremely hungry. You make your way down to a fast food restaurant with that same group of friends you have worked and laughed with all day. You get your food, burger and fries and a large drink, and you find a place to sit. It feels good to sit and you are ready to eat and even chat a little about the day. As you take a bite, it tastes good and you are enjoying your hunger being satisfied. In that moment, you remember the homeless man on the corner who is tired, sore, dirty and extremely hungry himself and you find yourself humbled and thankful that you have been provided something to eat. You remember that this food and these things aren’t what really “fill” you up. (see John 6:53-58 – the first time Jesus talks about bread/flesh and drink/blood) You remember that this drink is not what really washes away your thirst. You find yourself in this completely human and normal experience, remembering Jesus and this way of His that you have found. You find yourself in this deeper place. Out of this place, you show your friends love. Out of this place you share a meal. Out of this place you feed someone else who can’t feed themselves.

And so goes Paul’s admonition to the Corinthians. It wasn’t because they got the black and white steps out of order. It was because they were missing the point. It’s the difference between what I described above and just sitting in McDonald's eating your lunch and reading the news. This group in Corinth was just eating and drinking and there was nothing deeper going on. They weren’t mindful of each other or of Jesus for that matter. But, so many of us with our reductive ways of modernity have taken this “Lord’s Supper” and Paul’s teaching and turned into sterilized and controlled religious act. We have made it about the day of the week, the type of bread and wine, who can and can’t take it and the list endlessly rolls on. Now we find ourselves sitting in pews on Sundays eating a tiny pinch of a cracker and sipping from a little plastic cup of juice hoping we can conjure up some memory of Christ in our heads in order to avoid “eating and drinking judgment” on ourselves because we have “done” it wrong.

We have taken this simple gesture of a man asking His friends to remember Him even in the everyday common things of their lives and made it another tradition to do right. In some ways we have stripped it of its’ original intent. Although, despite our synthetic version, many still manage to find the heart of beauty in it all week after week.

It is becoming clear to me that we have done this same “manufacturing” to the entire way of Christ. It is like we have plucked it from its’ very soil, cleaned off all the dirt, processed it and put it in a can. Recently I have found myself in conversations about these things using the word “organic.” I use that word to try and communicate living this way of Jesus in less “institutional” ways and more “natural” ones. I am sure someone else has used this previously in a book that I have read that I am failing to site. So, this is where I will stop and next week this is where I’ll begin: Recovering this way of Jesus from our institutional and assembly-line manufacturing and finding it growing in its’ more natural state.

the gravity of what we have created...

2009-04-29T22:36:00.001-04:00

Over a year ago I was able to catch a couple of sessions at a conference of one of my favorite authors. In one of the sessions, he started by asking us to list the top 7 crises, crucial issues, or things we spend a lot of time wrestling with in our individual churches. Then he suggested that we list the top 7 crises in the world today. He went on to ask us to put those two lists side by side. The contrast between the two was his point. Most of the time, if not all of the time, those two lists have nothing in common. In a recent e-mail from his website, he reiterated this point and has seemingly found some new language in describing it.

Many of you will remember the two lists I talked about on the tour - the list of intramural religious debates in the Christian subculture hanging on one wall, and the list of global crises hanging on the other. A year after the EMC tour, it's clearer to me than ever that many if not most Christians in the US remain focused on the "religious arguments" list.
He went on to call this The crisis of purpose - a dysfunctional spirituality system that fails to provide a framing story capable of healing the previous crises. (note: by previous crises he means other global crises he listed earlier in the e-mail) – Brian McLaren

Maybe we are immature. Maybe we are like a child who is engrossed with his toys and all that is within his possession and yet is completely unaware that his father has been out of work for months and that his world is drastically changing around him. For some time, I have been aware of our isolation and self absorbedness within our churches and as McLaren calls it, within our “Christian sub culture.” There are undoubtedly many factors that have created this isolation and fostered this immaturity, but for this post I will look at one: our church paradigm.

Our churches are based on American business models. Find a business model on the internet, plug in words like minister, elder, theology, and worship service in place of CEO, Board, Mission, and product and it will become clear. As I have examined this over time, it has been interesting to explore how finances can control our theology and how theology can impact our finances among other things. Throw some ministers, elders and a little power in the mix and you have the makings for the exact same stories told in the halls of corporations. Just like businesses, we put out products to attract, we market, and we streamline. Some places are much better at it than others.

One of the major issues with this paradigm is that our church businesses have become black holes for resources. Most of the money, time and energy that members have to give away are used up by the churches they are members at. Barring some summer mission trips or random service projects, most of this money, time and energy is spent in house. It is spent on us, on our worship services, and on our ministry programs. The church business requires so much money, time and energy our members are left with no resources to use anywhere outside the church. Unless, they are willing to hold back a bit at the risk of being labeled uncommitted members. Sure, some of that money, time or energy trickles out of the church walls into a mission field or project, but that is often to support another effort to duplicate our business model or “open a new branch.” The churches we have created have in many places (not all) become monkey’s on people’s backs. I’m not talking about the “way of Jesus.” I am talking about the organized institutions of men.

Is there a way for Christians to gather together, to encourage one another in this way of Jesus, to be spiritually and relationally formed and yet not be entirely isolated or wrapped up in our own organizations? Can we find a paradigm that affords us the good things of Christian community and the benefits of the pooling of our resources and yet fosters our engagement in the world and not our isolation from it? Can our list of “intramural religious debates” be traded in for at least a more relevant list?

It will take theological shifts like understanding how the social and spiritual messages of Jesus cannot be separated and paradigm shifts that dismantle our current business model churches and replace them with faith communities that inspire, energize and generate solutions as opposed to burning through resources with little productivity outside of running the business. The question for you and I is, even if we disagree or find ourselves with no immediate answers, will we at least engage in the conversation of finding our way or will we turn away frustrated at “how things are changing” only to have our dying churches eventually slip through our tightly closed fingers leaving us with an empty fist to shake at the world as if it were everyone else’s fault but our own.

articulating Austin...

2009-04-22T10:10:00.004-04:00

This week I have lost one of my dearest friends. I am sure someday I will write about him, but this week I can’t. He is more than a blog and more than a story and every attempt I have made to "articulate" him ends with the pressing of the delete button and me murmuring, "That doesn't even come close. You can't do it." So in some small way, I honor him this week by acknowledging that my words would sell him short and I don't want to do that...

finding Proportion…

2009-04-15T16:20:00.002-04:00

Whenever something that has been overemphasized is being brought back to a healthy level of emphasis, it can be hard to take. Often people react as if I am saying it is not important. They fail to understand that the only reason it is seemingly being de-emphasized is because it was overly emphasized to begin with. This has happened often in my conversations about church and our attempts to organize God. Last week, after speaking on a college campus, I was told one student left agitated saying, “He wants us to replace our worship to God with service to humans.” This was in response to my opinion that they should forgo the normal flow of chapel of songs, prayer, scripture reading, speaker, and announcements from time to time and see how many sandwiches two hundred or so college students could pump out in a half hour for the local homeless shelter. Now, as ridiculous as that student’s statement may sound, he didn’t come up with that viewpoint on his own. He is a product of our churches.

So let me offer up a few ways I think we have “missed the point” by overemphasizing one area to the detriment of another. These could all become individual blog posts in the future, so please allow me to be very brief here.

We have overemphasized…
Worship service vs. Worshipful service - yes that is a fancy-schmancy play on words all to say we spend way more time in church than we do in the community and it is a shame. I ask us to consider how much time we personally spend sitting in pews singing songs to God versus “feeding Jesus.” The last time I checked, Jesus’ description of judgment in Matthew 25:31-46 didn’t include anything about worship “services.”

Structure vs. Community – in some places, instead of allowing structure to benefit the task of creating community among us, we have allowed structure to hold us back.

Promoting religion vs. Fruitful living – this is the difference between trying to get someone to come to church versus taking peace, love, joy, kindness…to them where they are at. This is the difference between church member and Christ follower.

Personal Piety vs. Producing Formation – “Personal piety” is a righteousness that benefits you. It is rooted in a “think right + do right = be right” mindset. This mindset allows you to sing the song “Jesus is coming soon, morning or night or noon, many will meet their doom,” to an upbeat melody. On the other hand “Producing formation” is about one being spiritually formed and engaging in activities that spiritually form them not only for their own life enhancement or hell avoidance, but instead to be a force of Christ-like goodness in the lives of others.

Shaking hands vs. Washing Feet – this is the difference between staying clean and getting dirty. This is the difference between chit-chat and engaging. This is the difference between convenient fellowship and hard work.

Morality vs. Spirituality – morality is a part of the bigger picture of spirituality. In some circles, we have watered down spirituality to a list of things we are not allowed to do. Many in these circles can become opinionated, judgmental and very stuffy puritans. Spirituality contains morality, but it focuses more on what we can become and what could be done instead of what cannot. Spirituality is more about engaging in life where as when it is watered down to morality alone, it becomes about isolation and separation.

Status vs. Journey – maybe we have worked harder at trying to get people saved and then keeping them saved through worship service attendance and bible classes, than we have at maturing them into deep wells of love, sacrifice and mercy. Maybe that is why someone with a deep soul stands out so much in our churches.

In order to restore more balance in these areas as individuals or congregations, it will take some theological shifts. Theological shifts are complicated and messy, but right now we need them badly. There are undoubtedly more areas of overemphasis that could be listed so feel free to add to the comments.

the force of Recovery…

2009-04-08T18:43:00.002-04:00

According to dictionary.com, the definition of connotation is the associated or secondary meaning of a word or expression in addition to its explicit or primary meaning. Words are not one-dimensional. They have rational, emotional and experienced based layers giving them depth. As the definition states, there is an explicit 1st layer meaning and then there are secondary or associated meanings. On one hand, the connotation of a word is completely subjective as related to feelings and experiences. Yet, there are often associated or secondary words which are not simply subjective, but are actually the fabric of the primary word. In this sense, more objective connotations help to “fill out” a word or give more depth or color to its’ primary and literal meaning.

In 1 Corinthians 15:1-8, Paul gives us the primary definition of the gospel. As he goes on to say later in the chapter, if this isn’t true than we are wasting our time, have pity on us, and let us eat and drink for tomorrow we die. So be it. Yet this gospel is not just a static event in the past with a one layer definition. “Believe it now, you’ll be glad later” theology misses the bigger picture.

So, what are the connotations of the word “gospel”? On the subjective side, the connotations of this word can range from the endearing all the way to memories of pulpits, scratchy suits, boredom and the sound of some guy with a southern drawl saying “gospel” over and over in your head. On the more objective side, let's look at some associated words. Here is a start: redemption, reconciliation, healing, forgiveness, peace, remedy, compassion…and there is ample room to add to that. This message/gospel brings with it more than a claim about an event that happened in the past. The gospel is dynamic. It is not a one layered fact that we keep asserting because, well, that is all there is to it. Brain McLaren says it well in this quote from The Secret Message of Jesus :

“What if Jesus’ message was not just about avoiding hell and going to heaven, but it was one with political, social, religious, artistic, economic, intellectual, and spiritual implications that could give birth to a new world – a new Kingdom - the Kingdom of Heaven now?"

Do you see what he is saying? What if this gospel doesn’t jump over life from the cross to you and from you to heaven like a person hopping on stones to avoid the mess of the creek? What if this gospel, working through various forms, is seeking to channel into every inch of our very existence and break up our hardened, un-plowed ground not just as individuals, but as groups, communities, and countries? What if the gospel is secretly at work in ways we have not plotted, planned or approved by committee?

Imagine, as you go about life, you encounter these associated words of redemption, reconciliation, healing, forgiveness, peace, remedy, and compassion in things like a child forgiving her temperamental father, a husband returning to his family, someone abused letting go of anger, or a mom finding work to feed her family. Imagine as you hear of these stories or see them unfold before you and you find yourself truly moved by them, a gust of wind blows and you catch a glimpse of a shadow moving quickly from your sight. Then, you say to yourself with squinted eyes and uncertainty in your voice “The gospel? Was that what I just experienced?” This gospel is looking to do more than save you later. It is planning on redeeming life as we know it and therefore, moving us into life as we have never known it starting even now. It is more than just an event pointed to in scripture and referenced in sermons. It is alive and dynamic, showing up where you didn’t plant it.

Remember a moment when you experienced peace, compassion, or reconciliation? Maybe it was over the holidays with all of your family together full of joy. Maybe it was at the hands of a friend who provided for you when you could not do so yourself. Maybe it was one small moment in a rocking chair holding your sleeping child. Now imagine that moment and that feeling never ending. Imagine that it is never interrupted by any of the things that chase it away now. Imagine the beauty of things like healing, compassion, and reconciliation becoming your unending experience. That is much better than the some street of gold. The gospel with its’ layers and dynamicity is working toward some point in the future when injustice, greed, oppression, and the like will be brought to an end, leaving the connotations of the gospel free to live on without interruption. Even now, like a dolphin at full speed, it weaves through our waters, leaping to catch its’ breath and displacing the ways of man with each crashing return in an effort to someday clean the whole place up. The message is more than an historical event. It is more than a ticket to heaven. It is more than a truth to be propagated. It is the force of recovery at work each day all around us with numerous faces and unpredictable disguises.

reviving desire…

2009-04-01T21:15:00.004-04:00

Last summer I was very surprised to hear Michael Phelps and Mark Spitz both respond with the answer “creativity” when asked what it took to do what they have done. I am not sure that I know exactly what they meant, but here is a possibility: Maybe in that sport trying to do that many races goes against conventional thinking. Maybe to even “imagine” that one could compete in so many different swimming styles at an Olympic level was literally to dream. Maybe in order to get to such a high level, he had to rearrange his life, his schedule, his training, everything…and maybe it took an unbelievable level of creativity to design a lifestyle, training program, and schedule that could even begin to give him a chance at realizing it all.

A few months ago I was asked, “What do you think is the biggest problem that teens in your group face today?” After talking through it a while, I realized that their biggest hurdle was the result of what may be our biggest failure. I was able to sum it up like this: We have worked harder at teaching them restraint than we have at fostering aspiration. Maybe this isn’t just limited to youth groups. Maybe on a whole, Christianity has been watered down to abstaining from sin to the detriment of the second half of this verse. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2Timothy 2:22 Christianity isn’t about killing desire. It is about advancing passion and desire towards greater things. Don’t waste your time on this empty, shallow stuff that will leave you spinning your wheels, but go after these other things that will propel you into deeper living. Yet the message that most of us get from how we do church and what we hear while we are there is “Don’t do bad things and be nice.” I propose (knowing I’m by no means the first) that maybe what we do and what we say should be sending a message that is more like this: Passion, desire and aspiration are not your enemies. The enemies are the dead-end activities that use you up leaving you with less than you came with. Run from those and bring your passion, desire and aspiration into a way of living that will cause them to grow into something big enough to feed your soul and the soul of many others.

Could it be that one of the biggest challenges the religious of today face is that they have been told how to live, but they have not been shown how to be alive? There is a huge difference between the two. I have found myself catching glimpses of aliveness in this child prodigy’s art, in this guy's dangerous surfing and innovation, and in this father's tenacity and pursuing heart. This aliveness is not born out environments free of encumbrances or difficulties. Conversely, it is the encumbrances and difficulties matched with desire and passion that create the right mix for inspiring aliveness. Even the young child prodigy, who is undeniably gifted, could not produce this level of beauty without desire and passion leading her through sacrifice and diligence. She rises at 4 a.m. five-six days a week to get ready to paint in the studio and write, works for about 4-5 hours each day, and often works over a hundred to two hundred hours on a painting, producing 8 to 20 paintings a year.

Coming to understand that there is a difference between living and being alive is one thing. Learning to be “alive” is a horribly mountainous other. There is so much literally trying to suck the life out of us, most of which has been created at the hands of humans, that a lot of our energy is used up on escaping the high walls of the rut. You may be well aware of what to avoid, but after successful avoidance will you have any idea what then to do with yourself? That is the problem. Beyond the struggle to recognize this need for aliveness, lies the more difficult question of “What now?”

This is where creativity is needed - creativity that allows you to see your life wide open - creativity that finds solutions – creativity that rearranges. Even just watching videos, reading about or seeing pictures of the people that I mentioned above allows me to gain a little fuel in my attempts at allowing passion and desire to stir within me as I strive to be alive. When was the last time you left your faith community full of passion and desire like that of a first, warm, spring morning shining life into a day of possibility? Our kids need us to show them what to do with themselves. Not in a ritualistic, black and white, this step after that one sort of way, but in a here is how to question, to seek, to risk, to explore, to pursue, sort of way. Maybe this is the fullness of life that Jesus was talking about. It is a fullness that is not dependent on circumstances, but one that indulges in the journey of passion and desire as we are being reconciled to the Source of passion and desire.

the weight of the Uninspired...

2009-03-25T21:34:00.003-04:00

I hadn’t been to this particular place in a very long time and I knew what to expect, but it was worse than I thought. Its’ tiredness had become exhaustion and its’ usualness had become a grind. My little ten minute speech earned some smiles, handshakes and a “thanks for that”, but the weight of that room seemed to cloud around me with an “is that all you got” smirk on its’ face. I went away a little different, it stayed the same.

I am not looking for hype. Hype is easy to find, but somehow in some Christian circles (churches, universities, camps…) it seems that creativity, expression and ingenuity have become suspect. While we could undoubtedly compile a long list of theological and ecclesiological conclusions that have fostered this distrust, here is my take on one.

We have more than compartmentalized that which is spiritual by saying it is only these “things” and not “those.” We have taken it hostage and placed it in a secure location guarded by men in suits, with high walls and typically a steeple. I believe this has sincerely been born out of our desire to control it. We want to control it because we can’t trust others with it. We fear that if what we call spiritual were to be open-ended to some degree then anyone could do with it as they pleased at anytime. So it has been stripped down, disarmed and assessed. Some have got it down to 5 acts while others go a little further adding in sub-points, but the distinction between what is “spiritual” and “everything else” is made clear. In this type of environment, creativity, expression and ingenuity are the exact things that could corrupt a sterile, hushed and controlled spirituality. Those things are fine when it comes to the “everything else”, but in regards to “spirituality”, creativity, expression and ingenuity create concern and apprehension. That day in that room, I felt the heaviness of human beings fed a regular and bland dose of so-called spiritual practices.

In the midst of Paul dealing with more “missing of the point” from some early followers, he makes a statement that is packed with freedom and possibility. He tells them that neither side of their argument has any value. He tells them that the only thing that avails, has value, or matters is “faith expressing itself (or working) through love.” That statement is bursting with potential. Those that would rather keep spirituality tied up are afraid that a free spirituality is a dangerous one destined to foolishly slide down a “slippery slope.” Conversely, I truly believe that anyone with honest intentions in following this way of Jesus can with some time and work find their way in it. They will undoubtedly make mistakes, but the power of their mistakes is not like the power of His grace (Romans 5:15-16) and the piling up their mistakes cannot overtake the piling up of His grace. (Romans 5:20) The fear we often articulate of allowing each of us the freedom to “express his or her faith in love” is not one I am buying into.

Jesus calls us into this new beautiful way of living full of graciousness, mercy, redemption, sacrifice, and justice. These things have no boundaries and are not only found in church. As I have said in a previous blog, His goal for us is not to hold worship services according to some preordained pattern. We are called to something much bigger than what is typically included in “going to church.” We are called to live in a new kingdom now finding ways to bring graciousness, mercy, redemption, sacrifice, and justice to this world full of bitterness, revenge, selfishness and injustice.

Yet we will never even begin to move in the direction of this goal if people are not freed to explore it…freed from restraining conclusions that serve better as reference points in the past instead of “periods” marking the end of discussion…freed from our current paradigms that teach us how to be observers rather than engagers…freed from overemphasizing bible classes, worship services and church programs to the neglect of bringing the solutions of the kingdom of God to the problems in the kingdom of men. We are created beings made by a Creator and given the ability and responsibility to create. Yet we are not following our own whims on this exploration. We believe in His Spirit, His essence in us moving. Maybe His creativity through us can dream up that possibility. Maybe His expression through us can communicate that love. Maybe His ingenuity through us can solve that problem.

I often wander what Jesus would say to those limiters of freedom who leave no room for individual faith expressing itself through love outside of their predetermined acceptable practices. Probably the same thing he said to the Pharisees who were concerned by the actions of the sinful woman who through her creativity gave even more meaning to the tradition of washing feet and expressed her faith through love by doing it with her tears and hair.

How stupid we sound...

2009-03-18T09:40:00.002-04:00

If you noticed the description of this blog under the title, I hope you found humor and honesty in it. If you take yourself too seriously, from which I am a recovering addict, you may have missed them both. There have been many times that I have become keenly aware of how stupid we all must sound with our spoken or typed letters put together to form sounds, words, and phrases that ultimately are an attempt to articulate some thought formed in our brains. The process is full of limitations and there is more than enough room for a misstep. This doesn’t mean that we can’t “know “ something or be “accurate” in our observations. This isn’t an “either/or” proposition as we so often want to make it. It is not that you either know all truth or you know no truth. As we try our best to perceive, to process and to understand, maybe having an awareness of our limitations should cause us to always have one hand full of “possibility”.

I ran across an interview of author Peter Rollins here. As he was talking about our struggle with grasping God, he used this analogy. “It’s like being a sunken ship in the ocean. While the ocean contains all of the ship, the ship contains only a fragment of the ocean.” While we may be able to know, understand, or process some part of God, we cannot contain within our human brains all of Him. How silly we must look trying to organize him. How childish our buildings, suits and ties, committee meetings, and even our “worship services” must seem to Him. Imagine our rhetoric, our decisions, and our traditions piled up in a heap next to His uncontainable self. While God is indeed gracious towards us, it would serve us well to temper our theology, religious practices and discourse with this reality of our smallness.

Yet, this realization of our smallness during obvious moments of human triteness has not caused this point to reverberate within my soul. Instead, I have more readily experienced some part of its’ true power during moments of beauty. Moments when something beautiful seems to open my mind to the fact that there is beauty I am yet to conceptualize. The force of beauty filled with its’ strong arms of graciousness, redemption, mercy, and gentleness has snuck up on me in distinct moments and seemingly cracked my mind and heart open to the beautiful possibility that I have no idea where this is all headed. There are so many conclusions on what God will do and how He will do it, who He will save and who He won’t, when it will be and how you will know. These moments of beauty that open my mind to the smallness of what we claim to know in one hand, cause me to turn to the other hand full of possibility.

The possibility that we have no idea. The possibility that we will all be proven wrong. The possibility that we will look at each other with faces of amazement and confusion because we did not see this coming. I am convinced that God will do with this world and the souls within it something that has yet to be articulated with our little words. As if on that day when He begins to reveal all that our minds could not contain, some of us will be saying, “Just what I expected. The “movie” is just like the “book.”

It is easy to pick on our smallness and inadequacies, but that often leaves me uninspired. It is those times of beauty in its’ varying forms that cause me in awareness of my own stupidity to look above the fray of our conclusions and delight in the thought that our idiocy leaves room for God knows what…

God will die if you don't sing...

2009-03-12T16:35:00.000-04:00

The fact that God doesn’t need our singing is obvious. In fact, he doesn’t need anything from us. (Acts 17:25) He doesn’t need our sermons, our communion taking, our prayers, or our bible classes. In short, He doesn’t need what we call “worship services”. It is vital to come together, but not because God needs it, but because we need it. This is not humanistic. This is just a cold hard fact. God doesn’t need us to do it and we shouldn’t walk away from a Sunday morning gathering feeling good about ourselves because we gave him a sacrifice of praise. Again, I am not saying we shouldn’t praise or sing, but we should understand where it fits in the broader canopy of worship. While singing and such can be called worship, it is just one small part of the bigger picture. The problem is that our so called worship services are the main product of most of our American business model churches. Having a worship service (and doing it the right and biblical way for some groups) seems to be the primary focus of modern Christianity. We use them to market, attract and grow our businesses. I propose that this wasn’t the focus of Jesus’ teachings nor of that of the rest of the New Testament. (or really, for that matter, what God was after in the Old…read Isaiah 58)

First of all, Jesus didn’t even talk about our gatherings…at all. The closest he came to it was when he told the women at the well in John 4 that (my paraphrase) “soon it won’t matter where you “worship” God. This mountain or Jerusalem means nothing. What matters is that you worship God with your very life (pnuema pronounced nooma which means spirit or breath) – your very existence and that you do it truly or authentically.” Jesus is concerned with how we live. That is why he so often hammered the Pharisees. Like in Matthew 23:23 where he basically says, “big deal, you gave a tenth of your spices…you did a religious act…great. What I am really after is the tangible display of justice, mercy and faithfulness.” He could say the same to us “Great. So, you “anthemed” my name in a song that you sang in a building.” Again, gathering together to participate in singing, sharing, learning, praying…is all vital to spiritual formation, but spiritual formation has a purpose. It is not an end to itself. On Thanksgiving Day we wake up, skip breakfast so we will be really hungry, eat a ridiculous amount of good food when it is time and then lay around our houses stuffed and unmovable. Our churches are full of people filling up on “spiritual food” week after week only getting fatter and pickier because they are not using the food to fuel them as they engage in the real work. The real work is not coming to a “worship service”. The real work is that of justice, mercy, and faithfulness.

Secondly, Paul doesn’t even call them “worship services”, but our NIV headings do. Paul calls them “meetings” or “when you come together.” In fact, in 1 Cor. 14:26 he says “all these things should be done for the strengthening of the church” and he says basically the same thing in Hebrews 10:24-25. We often paint what I believe to be this inaccurate picture of God sitting on His throne on Sunday morning soaking up our worship services that we pray are done in a “pleasing manner unto Him” to avoid the fate of the likes of Nadab and Abihu from Leviticus 10:1. Puh-lease…read Hebrew 9:11-15.

So here is the point if I haven’t already made it. Worship is the way we live, not a series of acts done in an assembly (Romans 12:1). Our assemblies are for us to be spiritually formed because God doesn’t need them. Gathering together to sing praises, pray, learn and all that comes with it is good, but it is not an end unto itself. Gathering together to be spiritually formed is done so that we may possess His qualities in increasing measure to keep us from becoming unproductive and ineffective in our knowledge of Him. (2Peter 1:5-9)

The conservative vs. progressive worship wars miss the point. I am progressive and I think most of the rules we are held back by are short-sighted. I am for more freedom and authenticity in our gatherings, but, frankly I am past all of that. I am at the point where I believe we spend way too much time being spiritually formed as opposed to putting the product of our spiritual formation to good use. Yes, our gatherings should change and many of the “rules” that come with thinking that is grounded in modernity miss the point, but the bigger question is can we move our “worship services” out of the center of our focus and into a position that allows our gathering to more effectively play their role in the larger picture of living the way of Jesus?

a blog about the blog...

2009-03-12T13:04:00.000-04:00

I hope the title of this blog causes you to have a conversation in your head that goes something like this: “organizing God…wait, what?! He can’t mean that in this little blog he is organizing God…he can’t do that, nobody can... wait...I get it” Obviously this isn’t a blog attempting to organize God for all the apparent reasons. So the entries will be about ways that we have “missed the point” in our attempts to do so, ways we could maybe move closer to the point plus a mixture of random thoughts and humor about life.